Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2008

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2008

Welcome back to my blog, and this time, we’re taking a look back at 2008. Since I covered a year from the Early 2000s (2001), I figured I might as well go look at the other end of the decade. I chose 2008 because it’s right in between 2010, a year I’ve already looked at, and 2006, a year I have plans to look at in the near future. Also, because the economy right now as I’m writing this (May of 2020) is tanking because of the Coronavirus, and 2008 was the last time we had a recession, so that’s a thing.

Anyway, how was 2008’s Pop Music? Well, it was actually a pretty dang solid year for music. As with the last year I looked at (1992), this was quite a transitional year for popular music. Ringtone Rap was on its way out, and Club Music was on its way in. R&B was huge, Pop was on the rise, Rock was still relevant and Country was… pretty much nonexistent aside from Taylor Swift. The total score for the 90 songs that debuted on the 2008 Billboard Year-End list clocked in at 290/450, or 64.4%, the highest of any modern year I’ve covered. With all that said, there was still a wide selection of bad pop music to pick from this year, so let’s cut right to the chase and take a look at the worst that 2008 had to offer, starting with our Dishonorable Mentions!

Dishonorable Mention: Addicted by Saving Abel (Peak: #20, Year-End: #97)

To start off, we have a song about a strained, toxic relationship that is only together because of how much he likes getting head. It’s a sludgy Post-Grunge song that was one of the genre’s last dying breaths, and for good reason.

Dishonorable Mention: Leavin’ by Jesse McCartney (Peak: #10, Year-End: #28)

In this song, Jesse McCartney tries to convince a girl to dump her current boyfriend and get with him, because he can “do it better than he can”. Now, this could potentially work for someone like Usher, but not from this very white twerp. He’s not a bad performer, just not someone who can pull this off.

Dishonorable Mention: Sorry by Buckcherry (Peak: #9, Year-End: #44)

A remorseful power ballad like this would usually work for me, but there are two very serious problems with this. One: This band is usually quite sleazy, such as another single of theirs entitled “Crazy B*tch”, and Two: The frontman is a terrible singer who can’t pull off sincerity to save his life, so I have a hard time buying this song’s premise. Hand it off to another band and it could’ve worked, but not with this band.

Dishonorable Mention: Pocketful Of Sunshine/Love Like This (ft. Sean Kingston) by Natasha Bedingfield (Peak: #5/#11, Year-End: #18/#72)

I feel like I’m killing my childhood by putting Pocketful Of Sunshine on the list, even as a Dishonorable Mention, I remember hearing it all the time as a little kid, but I’m sorry, it really hasn’t held up all that well. The verses sound like she’s talking down to the listener, and the chorus is quite oversung. While the production isn’t all that bad, it is pretty dated. Sorry 7 year old me, but 19 year old me doesn’t like this.

As for the other song, Love Like This, I don’t recall hearing it back in the day, so I feel no such guilt about putting this on the list. It’s a duet between Natasha and Sean Kingston, who was 17 when this came out in September of 2007. They have zero chemistry, the song is almost insufferably chipper and the autotune on Natasha’s voice is really, REALLY dated. I’ll have to revisit Unwritten when I get around to 2006, but her 2008 material wasn’t all that good.

Dishonorable Mention: She Got It by 2 Pistols ft. T-Pain and Tay Dzim (Peak: #24, Year-End: #100)

This is the third Year-End retrospective in a row where I’ve talked about the bottom song on the list, and unlike in 2017 and 1992, 2008’s Mr. Irrelevant was not a good way to cap off the Year-End list. The instrumental tries for some grandeur with the choir in the background, but the generic strip club lyrics don’t match it at all. Also, the synth line can get a bit repetitive after a while. Man, there were so many songs about strip clubs in the 2000s.

Dishonorable Mention: Paper Planes by M.I.A. (Peak: 4, Year-End: #35)

Ooh mama, this could get me into some hot water. Let me make this clear, the lyrical content isn’t the problem I have with this song. Sure, it’s a satire of stereotypical American views on third world immigrants, but I can take a bit of political satire. Heck, I even kinda enjoy the chorus. No, my main problem comes down to the production and delivery. The beat repeats throughout the entire song, and it gets annoying pretty fast, which is not helped by M.I.A.’s thick Cockney accent and slightly off beat flow. I’m sorry, not a fan of this song.

Dishonorable Mention: Damaged by Danity Kane (Peak: #10, Year-End: #42)

The final cut from the list, this was one of two hits from girl group Danity Kane. The lyrical concept of asking how a new lover can repair a broken heart isn’t bad, but the delivery gets quite annoying at points throughout the song, especially in the “so how ya gonna fix it” part. The production is… very dated to say the least. While there are enough redeeming qualities to keep this off the list proper, it’s not something I’m planning on returning to anytime soon.

Hey, speaking of the list proper, let’s get on to it, shall we?

#10: 4 Minutes by Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland (Peak: #3, Year-End: #23)

There is no better way to start off a list than with a hot take, amirite? Yeah, I’m not a fan of the Queen of Pop’s final hit, a duet with Justin Timberlake and producer Timbaland, for reasons I will get to right now.

First, the production. I’ll admit that I’m not too familiar with Timbaland as a producer, but I do know that he was absolutely massive in the 2000s, especially in his work with Justin Timberlake. However, I’m not a fan of the obviously fake horns and clanking percussion. The lyrics are just as cluttered, as it can’t figure out whether it wants to be about sex or a social messaging song. Also, Madonna going “tick tock tick tock tick tock” is annoying. If I’m being honest, I can’t fully quantify why I dislike this song, all I know is that I do, and it’s #10 on my list.

#9: The Boss by Rick Ross ft. T-Pain (Peak: #17, Year-End: #84)

I can definitely quantify why this is on the worst list, though, because it’s one of the messiest songs I’ve ever heard. It’s in the same category as Wiggle or Mo Bamba, songs that fail so epically that I can’t take it seriously. The instrumental is dated as all heck, it only could’ve been made in the Late 2000s. The lyrics from Rick “put molly all in her champagne” Ross are generic bars about being a boss, and T-Pain’s hook is just him repeating the word “boss” in a bunch of different inflections, all with some of the most hilariously bad auto tune ever. This is pretty much on the same level as The Lonely Island, who I’m sure took inspiration from this wonderful disaster of a song.

#8: Lil Wayne (Three hilariously bad songs on the Year-End list)

When people complain about modern Pop music, one of the first things that comes up is autotune, and when people complain about autotune, one of the first artists that comes up is none other than Sir Dwayne Michael Carter II, also known as Lil Wayne. For as interesting a year as 2008 was, the absolute ubiquity of autotune was one of the worst things about this year, and Lil Wayne was the primary culprit (T-Pain also overused autotune, but at least he did it in some more interesting ways). Lil Wayne had a total of eight year-end entries this year, but I’ve singled out three that I dislike for some reason, so let’s just get right into it.

First up on the chopping block, we have Lollipop, the fourth biggest hit of the year. Now, what could possibly be the “lollipop” that Wayne is referring to? I’ll give you a second to think about it.

If you guessed that it was his penis, you would be correct. However, the sexual metaphor is far from the only problem, as the song is filled with ridiculous bars like “I made that @$$ jump like jerp jerp” and “when I’m at the bottom she Hillary Rodham”, all rapped/sung with absurd amounts of autotune. Now, I will concede that the chorus (if you can call it that) is… strangely beautiful if I’m being honest, but that is nowhere near enough to make up for the hilariously bad autotune and hypersexualized lyrics.

Next up, Got Money ft. T-Pain. I initially cut this one some slack for being hilariously bad, but hilariously bad is still bad. The beat is a drum machine and buzzing synths that get annoying after a while, and the lyrics are about having tons of money, screwing tons of h0es and wearing tons of fancy jewelry, about as cliched as Hip-Hop luxury p0rn can get. Once again, I find a lot of ironic enjoyment out of this song, but that doesn’t make it any less terrible on an objective level.

The third and final song to rip into is A Milli. I’ll cut straight to the chase here: the beat is annoying. It’s just a dude repeating the word “A Milli” an unfathomable amount of times, and it wears out its welcome in record time. As for the lyrics, Wayne has his fair share of wack lines, such as “I’m a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed” and “I be the s**t now you got loose bowels”. I honestly don’t know who thought these lines were a good idea, but then again, Lil Wayne comes up with them on the fly, so I guess it’s just a sneak peek into the bizarre mind of Lil Wayne. I honestly respect him on some level for making me laugh my @$$ off, even if it is more often than not out of embarrassment, and these are nowhere near Lil Wayne’s worst songs, but that doesn’t make them any good, even if I do find them funny.

#7: Independent by Webbie ft. Lil’ Boosie and Lil’ Phat (Peak: #9, Year-End: #45)

Quick tip: NEVER spell out the title of your song in the chorus. It sounds really condescending and makes this song become a lot more annoying than it needed to be. These guys praise how I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T this woman is, yet also reassures us plebs about how much they’re screwing her, referring to their sausages as a d*ck and a Jew (I guess one of them is circumcised). Also, the beat sounds like a bad DJ Mustard track from 2014, with the gang vocals, and two synth lines that are pitchy and farting respectively. Unfortunately, one of the rappers on this track didn’t make it to 2014, as Lil’ Phat was murdered in 2012. R.I.P. Lil’ Phat, but that doesn’t make this song any good.

#6: Get Like Me by David Banner ft. Chris Brown and Yung Joc (Peak: #16, Year-End: #66)

Oh great, Ringtone Rap! Possibly the only music genre where there is not a single song that I like unironically (at least Trap has Old Town Road and Panini). Fortunately, this trend was on its way out by ‘08, but that doesn’t mean that there weren’t a few stragglers that managed to stick around, notably Get Like Me by David Banner. He had a hit in 2005 with Play, which is even worse than this, but that’s not what I’m talking about here, but really, what is there to even talk about with this one? It’s just a bunch of empty flexing over a dated minimalist beat with an uninteresting lead artist. Chris Breezy and Yung Joc try to bring a little personality, but that’s snuffed out by their verses being just as generic and worthless as the lead artist’s. Really, there’s not a whole lot here, so let’s move onto something a bit more… objectionable.

#5: I Luv Your Girl by The_Dream ft. Young Jeezy (Peak: #20, Year-End: #75)

Ooh boy, we’re getting into the real crap here. The problem with this particular track is evident just from the title alone: it’s a song where The_Dream steals YOUR girl (all credit for that joke goes to Spectrum Pulse). The backing vocals are somehow boring and yet kinda creepy, and the outro is one of the douchiest things I’ve ever heard in my entire life…

“Part of me feels so bad, but ooh! Not that bad”

That’s a line that a cartoon villain uses after they commit some dastardly deed, and frankly, breaking up a couple so that you can have the girl fits that description pretty well. I’m sure it was meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but it sure as heck doesn’t come across that way. Let’s leave this and songs like it in the past, it’s better that way.

#4: In The Ayer by Flo Rida ft. Will.i.am (Peak: #9, Year-End: #59)

Oh hot damn, this ain’t my jam. Jokes aside, Flo Rida’s other hit in 2008 sucks. The synths sound like a loud fart, and can get quite grating at times, especially in the bridge before the final chorus. Speaking of the chorus, I have no reason to listen to this song when I could listen to Low instead. I mean, I’m not the biggest fan of that song (I can’t remember a single line outside of hook). That’s the case here as well, as not a single person has ever cared about Flo Rida’s verses. Will.i.am is as robotic as ever, and the “key change” on the final chorus is just Will.i.am pitch shifted. Really, this is just the bottom of the barrel for club music, similar to Like A G6 on my Worst of 2010 list. We’re gonna get into some real s**t for our Top 3, so let’s get onto that, shall we?

#3: When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls (Peak: #9, Year-End: #49)

Surprise, everyone! Yeah, quite possibly the most hated song from this entire year is going to make my worst list, because it deserves it’s bad reputation 100%.

To start, let’s talk about the production. It’s a collection of fake drums and buzzing synths, some of which are uncomfortably high-pitched. There’s also this alarm sound at the beginning, presumably warning us about how bad the song you’re about to listen to is.

So, why else is this so bad? Quite simply, this is almost impressively obnoxious. The girls sound like they’re talking down to the audience about how great their lives are and how great being famous is, all while sarcastically saying “be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it”. Umm, you haven’t shown me anything bad about being famous. This is not helped by the constant “HA HA HA HA’s” and “LA LA LA LA’s” the girls do for some God-forsaken reason. The only thing that redeems this even a little bit is the bridge, which admittedly isn’t too bad, but the rest of the song is Blah Blah Blah-level toxic and annoying, and I never want to hear this song again.

#2: Piece Of Me by Britney Spears (Peak: #18, Year-End: #83)

Whatever, I’ll just put #1 up there too.

#1: Womanizer by Britney Spears (Peak: #1, Year-End: #80)

Yup, it’s a Britney Spears 1-2 punch at the top of this list, because GOOD LORD the Late 2000s were not good to Britney Spears. While I don’t hate Britney Spears, her two songs on the 2008 Year-End list were both awful, and are more than worthy of the top two spots on this list. I apologize in advance if my take sounds crass or insensitive, but I’ve gotten myself into this pickle, so I think I should just get this thing over with.

First up, we have Piece Of Me. The production is for the most part typical Late 2000s Electropop, but it has uncomfortably large shifts in volume, going from quiet to loud and back again in a few seconds. I can only assume that someone was messing around in the control room, only for the producers to say “hey, that’s a good idea, let’s keep it”, which I could also say is the case with the pitch shifting to the point of unrecognizability throughout most of the song. 

As for the lyrics, they’re directed at the paparazzi and tabloids, who covered the crap out of Britney Spears’ disastrous 2007, which prompted a variety of responses (including this one you may or may not have seen). I actually don’t have much of a problem with the lyrical content, although I definitely would not have made the main line of the song “you want a piece of me”, which is basically picking for a fight (to be fair, Britney didn’t write the song). Really, though, my big issue with Piece Of Me is that it sounds like @$$.

Piece Of Me, as bad as it is, wasn’t even Britney’s worst hit in 2008, as the lead single to her next album, Womanizer, is not only Britney’s worst hit in 2008, but my least favorite hit of the entire year. The production is suffocating, a mix of various synth sounds (one of which is a buzzing dental drill, my least favorite sound in popular music), which all come together to make one of the worst choruses I’ve ever heard in my life.

Then again, maybe that’s just because of how frickin’ repetitive it is. I counted 39 uses of the word “womanizer” in the song, but it feels like a hell of a lot more than that, considering the problems I mentioned earlier. While it’s directed at some character in the song, it feels like it’s addressed directly to me, and it’s both condescending and inaccurate in that case.

So yeah, Womanizer by Britney Spears is The Worst Hit Song of 2008. I’ll get the best list up in a few days, and I hope you all stay safe from the Coronavirus. Take care and have a good day, I’ll see you next time!