Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2019

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2019

Welcome to my first ever Year-End countdown, and to start off what I hope could be a wonderful journey through the history of popular music, the Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2019.
As 2019 has now come and gone, I can look back and say that it was a pretty solid way to close out the 2010s. Now, there wasn’t an extraordinary amount of great music in 2019, but there was a stark lack of terrible music when compared to some of the other years from this past decade. I had a really hard time filling out this list, as there were only seven or so songs that I actually disliked, which meant that the first three entries on this list are songs that I don’t even mind all that much, but just had some sort of aspect that bugged me.
In order to qualify for this list, a song must’ve debuted on the Billboard Year-End Hot 100 for 2019, which means that songs like Sicko Mode, Girls Like You and Happier are ineligible to appear on either of my lists, even if they charted higher in 2019 (as Happier and Sicko Mode did). The total score for the 89 songs that debuted on 2019’s Year-End list was 260/445, or 58.4%, thus making 2019 an above average year, assuming the average would be 50%. Before we move on to the Top 10 itself, let’s look at some songs that I didn’t think were bad enough to make the actual list, but that still got under my skin.

Dishonorable Mention: Without Me by Halsey (Peak #1, Year-End #3)

I think I should preface this by stating that I am not a Halsey fan. I’ve never been a big fan of her nasally voice or her edgy Tumblr aesthetic, but I’m getting ahead of myself. As for the song itself, it’s not bad per se, but I do definitely find it to be whiny, dull and not entirely accurate as to her and G-Eazy’s relationship, considering that one of the most prominent lines in the song is “baby I’m the one who put you up there”, even though Halsey and G-Eazy broke through at about the same time. While I was much harder on both this song and on Halsey in the past, my opinion has softened over time, but not enough to give this lame ass song a pass.

Dishonorable Mention: Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi (Peak #1, Year-End #27)

Listen, I understand that your heart is broken, I’ve been through that too, but you’re singing wayyyyy to dang hard. While I can respect that Lewis is pouring his whole heart into this, and I don’t hate this nearly as much as most other pop reviewers do, it’s still quite overwrought and not the best written song I’ve ever heard, moving on.

Dishonorable Mention: Eyes On You by Chase Rice (Peak #38, Year-End #96)

I actually like a fair deal of the instrumentation on here (snaptrack aside), but the lyrics are quite meatheaded. Seriously, you don’t remember your trip around the world because you were too busy staring at your girl to the point where you say “I might as well have just stayed in the room?” Also, Chase sounds like a total frat-bro with his delivery. While this did have potential (as Luke Combs’ Nothing Like You showed), Chase Rice messed it up big time.

Dishonorable Mention: Leave Me Alone by Flipp Dinero (Peak #20, Year-End #71)

Yeah Flipp, I think it would be better to leave you alone, considering how whiny and raspy your voice is. MJ did this song better.

Dishonorable Mention: Robbery by Juice WRLD (Peak #27, Year-End #100)

This entry is not meant to show any disrespect to Juice WRLD, who just passed away recently. However, this isn’t the best written song in the world, I’ll put it that way. In fact, this is one of the worst written songs of 2019, complete with lines such as "Flex on a hoe every time they're insecure" and “I'm throwing rocks at your window”. However, I can tell that Juice poured his soul not just into this, but into every other song he made. He was robbed (pun intended) of his life, and his chance to hone his craft to be more mature, and it’s heartbreaking to see someone die so young, so I’m giving this one pass. R.I.P. Juice WRLD, 1998-2019.

Dishonorable Mention: Earth by Lil Dicky (Peak: #17, Year-End: N/A)

Had this not flopped and stuck around long enough to make the Year-End list, I’m not sure if it would’ve been #1, but boy would it have been close. I don’t have the time to go full in on tearing this to shreds (which many others have done better that I ever could), so to keep it short, I present to you the five worst lyrics in Earth by Lil Dicky.
1. We forgive you, Germany
2. Fellas, don't you love to c*m when you have sex? (Ayy)
And I heard women orgasms are better than a d*ck's (Uh)
3. And it covers up our human d*ck (Woo), eat a lot of tuna fish
4. How's it going? I'm a cow (Moo!)
You drink milk from my t*ts (Moo)
5. I'm a disgruntled skunk, shoot you out my butthole
Now, onto the list itself.

#10: Thotiana by Blueface (Peak: #8, Year-End: #47)

The first two entries on the list aren’t actually songs that I dislike, but are so utterly, completely incompetent that they make it on to the list based on that alone. First, we have Thotiana, the breakout single from rapper Blueface. It should be quite obvious why this is hilariously bad: the song is called Thotiana. I’m sorry, but there is a snowball’s chance in hell that I would take a song with that title seriously, which is only solidified by Blueface not keeping pace with the beat. Truth being told, it doesn’t sound like Blueface is taking himself seriously, and neither should we.

#9: Mo Bamba by Sheck Wes (Peak: #6, Year-End: #49)

Much in the vein of the last entry, this is really on here for it’s total lack of competence. It’s funny that Sheck Wes says that he’s “got so many floooowwwsss”, because he’s using basically the same flow for the entirety of the song, except for the bit where the beat cuts out (due to a laptop crash, this was a one-take song that was improvised for the entire second half of the song, if not the whole dang thing) and he goes “OH F**K S**T B***H!”, after which he compares himself to the Green Goblin of all things. Yeah, this is objectively terrible, but it’s also one of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard, and for that it gets a low but solid placement on this list.

#8: Murder On My Mind by YNW Melly (Peak: #14, Year-End: #66)

Well, this is awkward. In February of 2019, Florida rapper YNW Melly turned himself in to the law on two charges of murder, as well as being a suspect in the murder of a police officer. As it turns out, Melly had recorded a song entitled “Murder On My Mind” two years previously, so naturally the song blew the F up in the Spring of 2019, peaking in the Top 15 of the Hot 100 and sticking around long enough to make the 2019 Billboard Year-End List, and you know what, there is quite a bit redeeming about this song. The instrumentation is comprised of dour piano keys and typical trap percussion, and the second verse is a detailed recount of a fictional manslaughter that the narrator accidentally commits against his friend. However, the final verse is Melly bragging about how he’s a killer and he’s gonna shoot you if you F with him, which is quite awkward considering that Melly likely actually did commit actual murders, topped off by a devious laugh. However, the positive elements of this song keep it low on the list, but not off the list in its entirety.

#7: No Guidance by Chris Brown ft. Drake (Peak: #5, Year-End: #21)

While it’s not terrible, it drags on way too long, man. Others have pointed out this song’s problems way better than I could (or want to), but even though this is only four and a half minutes long, it feels much, much longer. Both artists have done worse, but that doesn’t give this exhausting slog of a song a pass.

#6: Swervin’ by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie ft. 6ix9ine (Peak: #38, Year-End: #82)

6ix9ne, ‘nuff said.
OK, I’ll elaborate a bit. A Boogie’s part of the song is just fine, although there are some strange lines about his girl freezing while they make love (I’m a good abstinent Catholic boy, and even I know that chicks don’t freeze when they engage in intimate sexual relations). However, 6ix9ine’s bit is such a stark change of tone from the rest of the song, as he’s doing his typical shouting thug schtick (or at least it was his schtick before he went to prison), which I find kinda funny if I’m being honest, but it throws off the song to the extent where it leapfrogged onto the list, but not into the bottom five, which are the songs that I truly cannot stand. Still, I’ll pass on this one.

#5: Pure Water by Mustard ft. Migos (Peak: #23, Year-End: #55)

We’ve finally reached the songs that I truly loathe, and to start it off we have a run of the mill trap song. The lyrics are just typical flexing about how many girls they screw and how much money they make, and the flows are pretty standard as well, albeit with more charisma than your typical mumble rappers (many of whom are blatantly ripping off the lads from Migos). However, where this really gets on my nerves is in the production. You see, there is this one horrible synth loop that plays throughout the whole song, and I cannot stand it. It sounds a bit like the Indian riff from Candy Shop by 50 Cent, but somehow even more grating. I don’t know who wanted to bring back Mid 2000s ringtone rap, but apparently that was something that DJ Mustard was all too willing to do. The guys from Migos may love @$$ and boobies (not using the word they actually used), but I do not love this song.

#4: Zeze by Kodak Black ft. Travis Scott and Offset (Peak: #2, Year-End: #31)

I actually don’t mind some of the elements of this song, notably the tropical steel pan drums put in the track. Travis and Offset are both perfectly fine here, so that leaves only one thing left: Kodak.
I’m not a fan of Kodak Black. Aside from giving his name to one of the worst songs of the entire 2010s (this song blows, don’t @ me) and being a general criminal scumbag (which others have talked about at much more length than I can), his rapping has never really tickled my fancy, and Zeze is no exception. While his verses are tolerable, if also incredibly incompetent, that hook is where my patience really runs out. There’s some effect put on Kodak’s voice that just makes it completely intolerable, and the “looking like I still do fraud” lyric goes to show why he’s currently facing a long, long time behind bars. It just makes me physically uncomfortable, and it makes this otherwise forgettable Hip-Hop song leapfrog into the Top 5 of this list.

#3: 7 Rings by Ariana Grande (Peak: #1, Year-End: #7)

Before Arianators come after me, I think that Ariana Grande is one of the most talented people in the current pop scene. She has made several songs that I enjoy (Breathin’, Break Free, Into You etc.) and I think she has the potential to be one of the defining pop stars of our generation (as if she isn’t already). However, 7 Rings is not one of those songs that I enjoy, nor do I think it should’ve ended up being one of the biggest hits of the year.
To start, the production is not the strongest she’s had. In contrast to the pulsating electropop of Break Free or the upbeat groove of Into You, 7 Rings is just a creepy sounding keyboard and stock trap beat. Aside from the Sound of Music interpolation (I’ve never seen that movie, FTR) and the generic hook, there’s this bridge where she tries this hard-ass flow, but it comes out sounding like she’s rapping in a foreign language (I’ve always joked that she decided to rap in French for that bit).
However, the lyrics are really where this song loses it. I’ve heard it’s supposed to be ironic, but her performance just doesn’t make it seem that way, she just sounds like an entitled rich girl. So you know what, just as I did for Earth in the honorable mentions, I’m going to list what I think are the five worst lyrics in 7 Rings by Ariana Grande.
1. “Whoever said money can't solve your problems, must not have had enough money to solve 'em”
2. “I bought a crib just for the closet.”
3. “When you see them racks, they stacked up like my ass, yuh.”
4. “You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it.”
5. “Bought matching diamonds for six of my bitches. I'd rather spoil all my friends with my riches.”
I think the first lyric alone was enough to land 7 Rings a spot on the list, but the fact that these five aren’t even the entirety of bad lines in this wildly misconceived song lands it a solid spot on the podium of crap. Ari, you’re so much better than this.

#2: Baby by Lil Baby ft. DaBaby (Peak: #21, Year-End: #84)

I’m sure you guys may be surprised that this is so high on the list, above songs like 7 Rings and Zeze, but there are two very simple reasons for this. First, Lil Baby sucks. He is one of, if not the, least talented people in the current music scene, lacking in any sort of personality or charm. His voice is the epitome of Mumble Rap, and I can’t see him lasting for very long once the new rap trends come around in a year or two. As for DaBaby, he’s fine enough.
The second problem is the production. There’s this unsettling wub sound in the mix that really grinds my gears. It is one of the most irritating sounds that I’ve ever heard in a song, and lands this the 2nd place spot on this list (although I am questioning myself as to it being this high, and I may revise it’s placement if I ever do a video version of this list).

#1: Taki Taki by DJ Snake ft. Selena Gomez, Ozuna and Cardi B (Peak: #11, Year-End: #57)

So, here we are, the bottom of the barrel, the worst of the worst, the number one spot. As with Baby, there are two major problems that afflict this song, with the first being Ozuna.
I’m not gonna mince words here, Ozuna sucks. He might just be even less talented than Lil Baby, and that is saying something. His voice is so squeaky and pitchy that a song automatically becomes worse with him on it, but it’s not like this song had much potential in the first place due to our second problem.
I’m not a Reggaeton fan. Don’t get me wrong, there are exceptions, I’m cool with Despacito for example, but the genre on whole is quite underwhelming. It always uses the same “dun da dun dun” beat, has lyrics that are the same as any mumble rap song, just with the language changed, and has a tendency to include really, really annoying and grating sounds. Taki Taki has all of these problems, but especially in the latter category. The flute sound that plays after the hook is up there with the dying goat from Mi Gente for most annoying sound that I’ve ever heard in a pop song, and most of the rest of the production isn’t much better, mostly just being said flute pitched down a bit, which makes it a bit more tolerable, I guess, but not enough to give this song a pass, or to take it off the top of this list. Taki Taki by DJ Snake ft. Selena Gomez, Ozuna and Cardi B, The Worst Hit Song of 2019. Take care, folks, I’ll see you in the best list.

Billboard Top 20 Ranked: Fall 2019

BILLBOARD TOP 20 RANKED OCTOBER 19TH, 2019
So, I’m finally doing it, a Top 20 Ranking for the Billboard Hot 100. I’ve been thinking about doing one of these for months now, and I figured that now is about time. I’ve been watching music reviewers on Youtube and reading various chart review lists and blogs for a good year and a half now, and I always wanted to make my own content, and now I’ve finally gotten the motivation to throw my two cents into the game with my own content. I was originally going to do this in video form, but I don’t want to take the risk of getting in trouble for breaking piracy and/or copyright laws, so I’m gonna do a blog instead, or at least for the time being.

So, how is this Top 20? Well, I think we’re doing pretty good here. There isn’t a single song in the Top 20 that I would consider truly terrible, and only one songs that I even dislike. While there is a large swath of mediocrity in here, it’s balanced out by the fact that there are 9 songs that I would consider at least good. 2019 has been a much stronger year for Pop Music than I came in expecting after the underwhelming 2018, and I don’t think that there’s a better way to cover it than just diving in and beginning our countdown, starting right from the bottom and working our way up, so let’s go!

TERRIBLE TIER

Nope, there’s nothing here, let’s move on.

BAD TIER

20. No Guidance by Chris Brown ft. Drake (Current Position: #7)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOni4BMeMp0
Now, this does have redeeming qualities, I’m not gonna lie (that’s why it’s not in the Terrible Tier). The beat is quite catchy and bouncy, and I can appreciate that. However, than you have the performers themselves, and… that’s less appreciable. While Drake doesn’t sound checked out for once, he’s still not my cup of tea, and oh boy, let’s talk about Chris Brown. Ignoring his… troubled history, he’s just doesn’t sound good on here. His voice is so processed and autotuned that it loses any effect that it may have, and it slurs together to the extent that I can’t understand a good half of the lyrics, which isn’t really such a bad thing, considering that the lyrics are generic “I wanna f**k you” fare (I will give it this, it’s better than that song, but that’s not very hard to do). It’s a painfully mediocre Trap-R&B song that, while not terrible, is not something that I really care for.

MEH TIER

19. Playing Games by Summer Walker (Current Position: #16)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpTHDawddsE
The song opens up with a nice Latin-sounding guitar (which is what keeps it from the Bad Tier), but good lord, Summer Walker is everything wrong with Modern R&B singers (whininess and lack of enunciation), but without any of the personality that people like Khalid (who I’ll be talking about later) and Ella Mai have. Fortunately, the song is only a little over two minutes long, which means it wraps up rather quickly, which means that I can move on from this lame nothing of a song.

18. Bandit by Juice WRLD and Youngboy Never Broke Again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw5fNI400E4
Once again, the instrumentation saves this from the Bad Tier (or worse), the beat is quite catchy and I like the sort of creepy feel to it. However, that is where the positives end, as we have to talk about some of these lyrics, such as “Once I get a bitch, I own her”, and several occasions in which Juice WRLD pronounces the N-word with a hard R (yes, he’s Black, he can do that, but that doesn’t make it not awkward), and the general themes of Juice WRLD and Youngboy stealing YOUR girl, hence the title of “Bandit”. With all that said, the beat saves it from being in the bad tier.

17. Memories by Maroon 5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlPhMPnQ58k
“Man, this Maroon 5 song sure does exist, doesn’t it?”

16. I Don’t Care by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y83x7MgzWOA
The title says it all.

15. Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zABLecsR5UE
This is a song that has gotten a ton of shit in the chart review community, primarily due to Lewis Capaldi’s voice. Let me say that, while I agree that his voice is quite overwrought (especially on that bridge), I honestly appreciate it on some level because he’s trying to show some genuine passion and emotion, which I think has been severely lacking in a pop scene that has been dominated by checked out Lorde ripoffs for the past few years. With all that said, you can go too far in the other direction, and that’s exactly what Lewis Capaldi’s doing here. When it comes to the instrumentation and lyrics, they’re about as standard a break-up themed piano ballad as you can get. Let’s move on now.

14. Highest In The Room by Travis Scott
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfSS1e3kYeo
Well, Travis must’ve had some degree of self-awareness, because he certainly sounds like he’s the highest in the room. While I can barely understand Travis Scott’s mumbling, I really like the Halloween-ish feeling this song gives off, and I’m not gonna lie, that outro is beautiful. With that being said, Travis was probably at least one toke over the line when he recorded this, hence the title of the song. This may grow on me as time goes on, but for now it is in the high end of the Meh Tier.

13. Ransom by Lil Tecca
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLofd-v_Bas
This could’ve possibly hit #1 had the charts not counted radio, and I can definitely understand why. The beat is one of the funnest I’ve ever heard in a Trap song, and Lil Tecca is a funny performer (much of it due to his absurd voice. However, I can’t take his posturing seriously (nor do I think he meant it to be taken seriously), and it’s just sort of “in one ear and out the other” for me, moving on...

12. Talk by Khalid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE2Ira-Cwxo
Now we get to one of Gen Z’s biggest superstars, Khalid. He has absolutely blown up in the Late 2010s as a sort of chill R&B singer. While I definitely understand his appeal (I was born in 2000, so I fit right into his age group), I’ve not been the biggest fan of him (aside from this hidden gem). That’s not to say that I dislike him, quite the contrary, I think he’s an interesting artist with a lot of potential, but I’ve always found his voice a wee bit whiny, and that is the main reason why this is only in the Meh Tier, albeit right on the border of the Decent Tier. The instrumental has an upbeat and bouncy feel to it, and the lyrics are relatable to teenagers (I.E. me), but his voice isn’t really my cup of tea, or at least yet (I’ll get back to him later on in this list). Still, as with Highest In The Room, this does have room to grow.

DECENT TIER

11. Sucker by The Jonas Brothers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnAmeh0-E-U
So, a Disney Channel Boy Band from a decade ago is back, huh? Interesting, my sister was a big Joe Bros fan back in the Late 2000s, and yet it looks like this is their biggest hit, and you know what, it’s not half bad. It’s a fun, upbeat pop song that brought some much needed life to the charts after the dour misery of 2018. However, I am getting a bit tired of it, considering that it came out at the beginning of March and has been in the Top 20 ever since, and it’s exactly what I’d expect a radio hit to sound like. While it may have overstayed its welcome, it’s not like it wasn’t welcomed at all.

10. Truth Hurts by Lizzo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P00HMxdsVZI
So, this is now one of the biggest female rap hits of all time, huh? Surprising considering that it was released in 2017 and only became famous off of a TikTok meme, later gaining enough traction to reach #1 on the Hot 100, where it has been for a total of 7 Weeks (as of the following chart week from what I’m ranking). Well, I’m glad that it’ll probably break the record that was set by Iggy “The Female Vanilla Ice” Azalea five years ago, it deserves it far more than Fancy. Lizzo is bubbling with personality and charisma, she’s basically the lady from those Strong Independent Black Woman Who Don’t Need No Man memes. However, I can’t really resonate with this song (no shit, straight white guys aren’t the target audience), and I’m fine with that, I can recognize the artistic merit in songs that don’t click for me on a personal level. Solid tune, glad that it became a hit.

GOOD TIER

9. Sunflower by Post Malone and Swae Lee
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApXoWvfEYVU
Behold, the most overplay resistant song of all time. You know how I mentioned that Sucker has been around since March and that I’m getting sick of it? Well, this came out in October OF LAST YEAR and has been in the Top 20 ever since. It is now one of the 100 biggest hits OF ALL TIME, and I STILL haven’t gotten sick of it. That speaks more to what I think of this song than anything else I can say. While it does have its flaws (the lyrics are total nonsense), it has more than enough positives to get a spot in the Good Tier.

8. Bad Guy by Billie Eilish
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyDfgMOUjCI
This didn’t click for me for the longest time, it was in the Meh Tier up until I was making this list. However, I came back with fresh ears, and came out with a completely different view of the song than when I came in. The instrumentation sounds kinda like We Are Number One, the meme song from a few years ago (heck, there’s a mashup of the two songs that has hundreds of thousands of views), and Billie’s delivery has changed from sounding half asleep to being seriously funny to me. While it does have the “Might Seduce Your Dad Type” line, it’s still a good song… DUH!

7. 10,000 Hours by Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2E71oe0aSM
Wait, a schmaltzy love song is in the Good Tier? Yes, it is, I like this song, sappiness and all. It’s basically a Late 90s Boy Band love song, particularly God Must’ve Spent A Little More On You by NSYNC (a song that somehow manages to be even cheesier than this song), but you know what, it’s perfect for weddings, and I can appreciate it for that. Heck, it’ll probably be played at my wedding once that day comes. Dan and Shay have great voices and harmonies, and Justin Bieber certainly isn’t the Shawty Is An Eenie Meenie Miney Mo Lover kid anymore (oh gosh, that song has aged so badly). Maybe it’s just because I have a soft spot for cheesy love songs (inherited from my very white parents), but I can’t help but find this song really charming, sappy as it may be.

6. Circles by Post Malone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXhTHyIgQ_U
Hmm, maybe Rock can make a comeback. While Take What You Want (one of the best songs I’ve heard in years) has gotten most of the hype for being a crossover rock hit, Circles is the bigger Rock crossover hit from Hollywood’s Bleeding (sure, it’s more Pop Rock than anything, but I’d still count that under the rock umbrella). It’s also a really well written song about a relationship that is falling apart, despite their attempts to keep it going. The reason that it’s only in the Good Tier and not the Great Tier is because Posty sounds like he’s half asleep, although it does still have growing potential, and could very easily end up in the Great Tier sooner rather than later.

5. Old Town Road by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ysFgElQtjI
So,imagine a little known rapper releases a Country-influenced Trap novelty song, becomes famous off of a popular social media platform, charts on the Hot 100 and gets tangled up in a genre controversy. He then brings along an old country singer who hasn’t seen any success in a quarter of a century and is more known for his family connections to release a remix that then shoots straight up to #1 and stays there for almost FIVE MONTHS, becoming one of the biggest hits of all time in the process. Well, not only did that happen, but it is this very song. Really, there’s nothing that I can say about this once-in-a-generation smash that hasn’t already been said by everyone else before me, so I might as well get my horses in the back and ride on to the…

GREAT TIER

4. Goodbyes by Post Malone ft. Young Thug
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU173WjEoQA
Well, I’m back to talking about Posty, and it’s another song about a crumbling relationship. This is basically Better Now… but better (Better Now is a pretty good song in the first place). Posty is part ranting and part reflecting on his collapsing relationship with his girlfriend (with quite a few expletives thrown in there as well). The instrumentation perfectly fits the bitter and yet calm mood of the song, or at least until Young Thug comes in and starts squawking like a parrot, but somehow he fits in pretty dang well. This has grown on me immensely, to where it now stands in the Great Tier.

3. Panini by Lil Nas X
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXcSLI58-h8
Now we return to 2019’s biggest breakout superstar, Lil Nas X. He released his debut EP this summer after the aforementioned Old Town Road blew the F up, and Lil Nas X went from an underground soundcloud rapper to one of the big dogs overnight, and that’s what his follow-up single Panini is about. Stealing the title from a Chowder character and interpolating Nirvana’s In Bloom in the hook, it’s basically a message to the fans that he got while he was underground, but who turned their backs on him when he blew up, with Panini being a stand-in name for them. As with Old Town Road, his delivery is a mixture of silly and serious, and the beat is infectiously catchy.

2. Senorita by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkh8UtuejGw
Here we have Pop Music’s newest couple, Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, and who would’ve guessed that the “NICOTINE HEROINE MORPHINE” girl and the “BETTA DAN HE CAN” guy would’ve created one of the sultriest songs to have touched the charts this decade. Now, it’s not without its flaws, don’t get me wrong. Camila is still a middle of the road (at best) singer and Shawn Mendes, while possessing more objective talent than Camila, is no Latin lover (in spite of his Iberian heritage). With that being said, Shawn and Camila have always worked really well together, and while the instrumentation is not perfect (snaptracks are overused), it definitely does its job. The main reason that this is in the Great Tier, though, is just how adorable this song is. The lyrics depict a budding romance between two lovers who, while aware that it could blow right up in their face, are willing to take the shot. TBH, I really don’t have an objective explanation for why I love this song so much, but you know what song I do have that for?

Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran ft. Khalid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj0XInqZMHY
Aside from Castle On The Hill, this is my favorite Ed Sheeran song. The instrumentation has an 80s throwback sound, yet manages to keep a modern feel to it. Ed Sheeran delivers a solid vocal performance, and while Khalid does seem out of place here, he does his job well enough. However, where this song really stands out is in the lyrical department, where Ed Sheeran both expresses how he doesn’t fit in among other celebrities (no s**t, he looks like a life sized cabbage patch doll), and his concern that he will fall into the celebrity lifestyle and lose his personality, just becoming another one of those “beautiful people”, whose lives may look wonderful on camera, but can be miserable behind the scenes, reflected in probably the best single lyric I’ve heard all year, “surrounded, but still alone”. Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran ft. Khalid, the best song in the Top 20 as of October 19th, 2019, and my second favorite song with the word “Beautiful” in the title (yeah, nothing’s beating this song anytime soon).

Overall, this Top 20 gets a 62/100, which is well above a theoretical average score of 50/100 and a pretty solid week overall. As mentioned in my intro, 2019 has been a far stronger year for pop music than I would’ve expected, so let’s keep this up into the new decade right around the corner. I’ll see you guys next time!

Gabingston Blog

Welcome to the Gabingston blog! On this blog, I will be doing a bunch of stuff like Pop Music reviews, various events in my personal life and other stuff that I'll figure out later. I also run an Alternate History blog if you guys are interested (https://gabingstonalthist.blogspot.com/). My first proper post will be a ranking of the Billboard Hot 100 Top 20 as of the week of October 19th, 2019, so stay tuned for that and more stuff coming up.