Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2012

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2012

When I decided to look at 2012 next, I posed a question: Is 2012 an overrated year for music? After looking through every song that debuted on the 2012 Billboard Year-End Hot 100, I can say that the answer is a resounding NO. Yeah, 2012 was pretty dang good, particularly by modern standards. This was a wonderfully varied year for music, and every genre had its time to shine, thus giving the 92 songs that debuted on the Year-End list for 2012 a total score of 312/460, or 67.8% of a theoretically perfect score. However, this post is not about the good music, it’s about the crap, and 2012 was by no means immune to bad music, even if there was less of it than your typical year for music this century. So, without further ado, let’s get started on our Dishonorable Mentions!

Dishonorable Mention: Rack City by Tyga (Peak: #7, Year-End: #45)

To start, we have a song that was kind of ahead of its time. Rack City sounds exactly like a bad Hip-Hop track from 2014, in no small part because it was produced by DJ Mustard, who blew up that year (he’s gotten better since then, fortunately). The lyrics are hilariously bad bars about screwing chicks and getting dough, accented by stupid lines like “got yo’ grandma on my d*ck” and “green got cheese like a nacho, if you ain’t got no @$$ b*tch, wear a poncho”. However, it’s enjoyable in an ironic, “so bad it’s good” sort of way, so I’ll give it a pass.

Dishonorable Mention: Turn Me On by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj (Peak: #4, Year-End: #35)

David Guetta has a reputation as a bad producer in these circles (I Gotta Feeling aside), and while I haven’t heard enough of his stuff to form a conclusive opinion, this definitely isn’t a good sign. It’s generic, bog standard Early 2010s Electropop, with the added displeasure of sapping all personality from Nicki Minaj (aside from the rap verse near the end of the song, and even that isn’t anything to write home about). The lyrics aren’t anything to be proud of either, basically saying that she needs this guy’s sex in order to stay alive, which just doesn’t make sense. Overall, it’s just a waste of space, I have no reason to ever return to this.

Dishonorable Mention: Cashin’ Out by Cash Out (Peak: #36, Year-End: #92)

It’s lazy brag rap with cliched lyrics and an unimpressive beat by a one hit wonder whose stage name is the same as his only hit. I think I’ve said enough, moving on.

Dishonorable Mention: Work Out by J. Cole (Peak: #13, Year-End: #63)

Nas (one of J. Cole’s main inspirations) didn’t like this song, and I don’t either. The lyrics are pretty douchey, being about loving and leaving a girl, even though she wants it to become serious. It’s only saved from being on the list proper by the Paula Abdul interpolation in the hook.

Dishonorable Mention: Starships/Pound The Alarm by Nicki Minaj (Peak: #5/#15, Year-End: #9/#75)

Yup, I’m not quite done with Nicki Minaj, because her other two hits this year also rubbed me the wrong way. You see, they both have the same problem. Both of them have decent enough verses, solid buildups (I’d even go as far as to say that Starships has a good buildup), but both of them have payoffs/drops that sound absolutely terrible. While Starships is definitely the better of the two, neither of them are up my alleyway when it comes to EDM-leaning Pop.

Alright, let’s start the list.

#10: Blow Me (One Last Kiss) by Pink (Peak: #5, Year-End: #37)

First up on the list proper is Pink, with the lead single from her 2012 album The Truth About Love, and if I’m to speak truthfully, I don’t love this. The production is overly compressed to the point that I have difficulty telling the instruments apart, especially on the chorus. Pink tries to stretch her vocal range to its very limit on said chorus, and it doesn’t end up sounding good at all. The lyrics are effectively a retread of So What, a #1 hit from the last year I looked at, 2008. Now, don’t get me wrong, this song had potential, but you know what, that was the case with In My Head by Jason Derulo in 2010, and yet that song ended up on my worst list. Basically, wasted potential can push a mediocre to bad song over the line and onto my worst list, so 

#9: We Run The Night by Havana Brown ft. Pitbull (Peak: #26, Year-End: #90)

Next up, we have the sole hit by Australian DJ Havana Brown. Now, this isn’t entirely bad. As with the two aforementioned Nicki Minaj songs, the verses and buildup aren’t bad at all (although Havana Brown has next to no personality, in sharp contrast to Nicki). However, it also manages to ruin any potential it may have had with a beeping fire alarm of a drop. Starships, Pound The Alarm and We Run The Night were all produced by the same guy (RedOne), so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that they have a lot of similarities (however, he also produced Just Dance and Bad Romance, so he’s definitely got some good stuff under his belt… no double entendre intended). Oh, and Pitbull’s here. It’s pretty typical for Mr. Worldwide, but it notably ends with the line “Now f**k you, pay me”, take from that what you will. Basically, this isn’t very good, and there’s a reason that no one remembers it, next.

#8: The Motto by Drake ft. Lil Wayne and Tyga (Peak: #14, Year-End: #20)

Hey, remember when #YOLO was all the rage back in 2012 (and early 2013)? Well, you have Sir Aubrey Graham and crew to thank for that. Unfortunately, the song that spawned that now dated meme was far from good. The beat is nothing to write home about, it’s perfectly fine, but the lyrics are just ridiculous, especially on Lil Wayne’s verse. Here are a few gems:

“I’m calling n****s out like the umpire”

“Almost drowned in her p***y, so I swam to her butt”

And, of course....

“Skeet skeet skeet, water gun”

Why am I surprised, it’s Lil Wayne, I dedicated a whole segment on my last worst list to him and his laughably bad lines. While this song isn’t THAT bad, it’s still more than bad enough to secure a low but solid spot on this list.

#7: Let’s Go by Calvin Harris ft. Ne-Yo (Peak: #17, Year-End: #65)

Has there ever been a song that was so devoid of any substance or flavor that it actually annoyed you? Well, this is that song for me. Production wise, it’s about as standard as an EDM song can get. Ne-Yo sounds like he had a cold but still dragged himself to the recording studio, and as for the lyrics he’s singing, well, let me show you what is truly the lyrical masterpiece of our generation…

“Let's go!

Let's go!

Let's go! (Hey, its now or never oh oh)

Let's go! (Tomorrow's good, tonight is better oh oh)

Let's go!”

And…

“Let's make it happen

Ooh, let's make it happen tonight

Let's make it happen

Ooh, let's make it happen tonight

Let's make it happen

Ooh, let's make it happen tonight

Let's make it happen

Ooh, let's make it happen tonight, tonight, let's go!”

Listen, I know that making fun of pop lyrics for being overly simplistic and repetitive is a tired, worn out cliche, but this is just on a whole ‘nother level. While it isn’t overflowing in bad qualities, it’s completely void of any good qualities, and I have no reason to ever come back to this musical equivalent of stale bread, next.

#6: Turn Up The Music by Chris Brown (Peak: #10, Year-End: #84)

Chris Brown makes one of my worst lists yet again, as he delivers a bottom of the barrel club track with Turn Up The Music. The Club Boom was on its way out by 2012, and while I may or may not have a club song by another R&B star on my best list, this song is a perfect example of why that genre died. The lyrics are a bunch of cliches about partying in the club, Chris Brown is a thoroughly uninteresting performer in comparison to said other R&B star, and the synths get very high pitched and grating at times, especially in the post-chorus. Oh, and Chris’s shouting in the background towards the end of the song doesn’t help anything, either. This was actually the top contender for my #1 spot when I was first going through the list, and while it has dropped to the bottom half of the list, that doesn’t make it anything I’d want to listen to.

#5: Dance (@$$) by Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj (Peak: #10, Year-End: #57)

I mean… it’s Dance (@$$), why wouldn’t it make the list? The problems are plain to see with this one, I don’t feel like I need to do a whole lot of explaining as to why this song is bad… but I’m gonna do so anyway.

To start, the beat is a lazy mixture of bass, handclaps and drum machines, and it gets repetitive very quickly, although it is fortunately reprieved by an MC Hammer sample a few times throughout the song. Speaking of repetitive, the chorus repeats the word “@$$” a good twenty times, and said chorus repeats multiple times throughout the song. As for the rest of the lyrics, well, let me show you some highlights:

“How your waist anorexic and then your ass is colossal, like woop”

“Tippy tow tippy tay you gonna get a tip today

F**k that you gonna get some dick today”

“Sticks out they bust so it they open like yaya's a pinata”

“I got that mad dick you know it always nut up”

And those are just from Big Sean’s verses, what does Nicki deliver?

“Ass so fat all these b****es p***ies is throbin'”

“If he got a mandingo then i buy him madasheeky

and bust this p***y open in the islands of Wakikiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”

Really, there are so many terrible lines that I’m not even gonna bother counting, it’s laughably terrible, and really, that’s why it’s not higher on the list, I can laugh at it. It came really close to earning the honorable title of “so bad it’s good”, but there were too many outright terrible elements to keep me from bestowing that honor. Now, which songs couldn’t I laugh at? Well…

#4: Love You Like A Love Song by Selena Gomez & The Scene (Peak: #22, Year-End: #83)

The “and I keep it in rep-p-p-p-p-peat” bit in the chorus really, REALLY annoys me, ‘nuff said.

OK, there are more problems than just that. The “wub wub wub” bass hasn’t aged well, Selena is just not an interesting performer and the lyrics are unimpressive, especially the title line, but yeah, the “rep-p-p-p-p-peat” bit annoyed me to the point that it made the top half of the list. I don’t have much to say about this song, moving on.

#3: Where Have You Been by Rihanna (Peak: #5, Year-End: #21)

Ah, Rihanna, why do you have to be so inconsistent? Seriously, whenever she puts out music, it’s a guessing game as to whether it will be a gem or a pile of crap, and this one unfortunately falls into the latter of the two camps. Taking its opening line from the traditional Australian country song I’ve Been Everywhere, the song unfortunately squanders that sample for generic, repetitive lyrics about searching for a lover (although the pre-chorus admittedly ain’t too bad), with a super repetitive “where have you been all my li-i-i-i-i-i-i-fe” that is at least as annoying as the aforementioned repetition from Selena Gomez, capped off by a drop that sounds like a compilation of electronic farts. This gets especially grating towards the end when it starts incorporating incredibly dated beeping sounds. While I’ve definitely heard worse electronic sounds, this really isn’t good. I don’t know, maybe it was a bit harsh to put this all the way at #3 (these lists are far from definitive and set in stone), but it’s still pretty dang bad, but not as bad as this next song.

#2: No Lie by 2 Chainz ft. Drake (Peak: #24, Year-End: #54)

If I’m not to lie, I must say that I hate this song. The beat is somehow a combination of creepy, grating and boring, which wasn’t surprising considering that it was produced by Mike Will Made It, who has put out more than his share of bad beats. Lyrically, it’s a bunch of cliches about bashing other rappers, stealing your girl and smoking dope, filled with bad lines like “I take your girl and kidnap her, feed her to my mattress”, “She could have a Grammy, I’d still treat her @$$ like a nominee, just need to know what that p***y like, so one time is fine with me” and, of course “Left hand on the steering wheel, right hand on that p***y”. Also, Drake’s “no lie no lie no li-e-i-e-ie on the hook is annoying. It’s the worst Hip Hop hit of 2012, and a bad sign of things to come for the genre.

My #1 pick should not surprise anybody. If you’re at all familiar with the chart review community on YouTube, you know what’s coming. This has been so thoroughly thrashed so many times on various Worst of 2012 lists that it’s almost a cliche to call it the worst hit of the year, but alas, some things are cliched because they are true. So, without further ado, I present unto you The Worst Hit Song of 2012…

#1: Birthday Cake by Rihanna ft. Chris Brown (Peak: #24, Year-End: #79)

Surprise! Yeah, it’s not like pretty much all of you saw this one coming. As mentioned in the preamble, pretty much everyone has bashed this on their Worst of 2012 (or Worst of the 2010s) lists, and I am not going to be any different, because this is pretty much everything wrong with Popular Music.

Grating production? You betcha! It’s basically the beat from Dance (@$$), but with a buzzing synth that sounds like a dental drill and alarm sounds laid over top of it. This gets especially bad towards the end of the song when the pitch goes up even more and it starts beeping relentlessly, making it sound like a fire alarm. I for one don’t want my pop music to sound like I’m getting a root canal, and I’m sure I’m not alone in that.

Hypersexualized lyrics? Hell Right there are! The entire song is filled with bad sexual imagery, such as Rihanna’s entire first verse:

“It's not even my birthday

But he want to lick the icing off

I know you want it in the worst way

Can't wait to blow my candles out”

I… don’t get any of that. I guess it could make sense to say something like “can’t wait to blow your candle out”, thus doing basically the same thing that Flo Rida did on Whistle, a huge guilty pleasure of mine (although it won’t be making the best list), but “(he) can’t wait to blow my candles out”? I don’t know what said candles would be, and I don’t even wanna picture what the other one is. Also, how about Chris Brown’s bit?

“Girl I wanna f**k you right now (right now)

Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body

Let me-let me turn the lights down

When I go down, it’s a private party”

Umm, considering what happened the last time that Chris and Riri had a “private party”, this isn’t going to end well. Really, who in the name of all that is good and holy thought that it was a good idea to put Chris Brown and Rihanna together on a track about rough sex? I’m sure this was done entirely to draw attention, and not a good kind of attention at that.

Repetition: CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE (repeat ad infinitum)...

Yeah, this song (if you can even call it that) is a complete disaster and is only remembered for how bad it is, and really, that’s all it should be remembered for. It was a profound mistake for both of these artists, and is without question The Worst Hit Song of 2012. I’ll get the best list out in a couple of days, and until then, have a good one.

Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2008

Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2008

Now that I’ve gotten through the Worst of 2008, I think it’s time for the Best of 2008! 2008 set the new high score for modern (post-2000) years, and much of that was due to the 21 songs that scored a 5/5, plus one more than entered into the Mount Olympus of Pop Music and scored a 6/5 (take a wild guess as to which one that was. These songs represented a wide variety of genres and sounds, from the emerging Club Boom to laid back Adult Contemporary to the last remains of Rock N’ Roll. There’s no better way to make this clear than to start the list, so without any more hesitation, here are the Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2008, starting, of course, with our Honorable Mentions:

Honorable Mention: Dangerous by Kardinal Offishall ft. Akon (Peak: #5, Year-End: #29)

Part of the emerging Club scene that dominated the Late 2000s and Early 2010s, Dangerous is a rather simple song about fawning over a seductive lady. Sure, Kardinal Offishall sounds a lot like Ludacris (and Flo Rida), but that’s by no means a problem, as Luda is one of the most unique and fun rappers in the history of the genre. While the song’s theme is rather played out if I’m being honest, it’s still a really fun song to listen to.

Honorable Mention: Live Your Life by T.I. ft. Rihanna (Peak: #1, Year-End: #37)

No, this isn’t just here because it samples the Numa Numa song, it’s actually a really interesting song about staying true to yourself through all of your successes and challenges (or at least that’s what I think it’s about). Sure, the production is pretty of it’s time, but that’s not necessarily a problem when the rest of the song is this good.

Honorable Mention: Love Song by Sara Bareilles (Peak: #4, Year-End: #7)

Now this is a clever way to assert your artistic integrity. You see, Sara Bareilles’ label was demanding she write safe, radio friendly love songs, so she fulfilled their request… by saying that she won’t write them a love song if she didn’t want to. However, that’s far from the only reason it’s on the list, as it’s well written, well performed and has aged much better than most songs from this year have, even ones I like. I also remember hearing it a lot as a kid, so there’s the nostalgia factor as well. While it does seem a little bit impressed with itself, that’s not too much of a drawback from a song with this much going for it. 

Honorable Mention: Feels Like Tonight by Daughtry (Peak: #24, Year-End: #95)

Hey, speaking of nostalgia. Yeah, my childhood memories with this song is the main reason this makes the list. When I was on my way home from my senior prom last year, I heard this for the first time in a good decade, and I got the biggest chill down my spine that I can remember. Sure, it’s pretty basic Pop Rock, and it’s not a hill I’ll die on defending (unlike some of their other singles, as you will eventually see on any future Best of 2007 and 2009 lists), but I still can’t let this song go without a mention. Just give me this one, please.

Honorable Mention: Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade (Peak: #21, Year-End: #58)

Aww, this is sweet… and also a little bit Emo. While there are a few lyrics that could’ve used a rewrite, it’s all in all a good song about having the will to push through a troubled relationship, hoping that tonight might be the night you fall in love All Over Again. I also once saw someone perform this at a high school talent show, so that may play into my liking for this song as well.

Honorable Mention: American Boy by Estelle ft. Kanye West (Peak: #9, Year-End: #39)

Dang, I’m a total sucker for Disco grooves. An Electro-Funk bop, Estelle sings about this American boy, wishing to travel around the U.S. of A with him. Kanye assumes the role of the American boy, wanting to travel to the U.K. with Estelle. Estelle’s performance is smooth and classy, while Kanye is… well, Kanye. Also, the line “Don’t like his baggy jeans, but I’ma like what’s underneath them” makes me giggle every time.

Honorable Mention: Realize by Colbie Caillat (Peak: #20, Year-End: #67)

Yeah, I can imagine many people wanting to take my man card for this pick (and believe me, this is not the last embarrassing pick that you’ll see in this countdown), and for understandable reasons. It’s slow, sappy and made for 30 or 40-something moms bringing their kids to soccer practice. However, I’ve put many slow, sappy songs on my lists before (This I Promise You being a prominent example), so go ahead and take my man card if you want, but I stand by this being a sweet song.

Honorable Mention: Superstar by Lupe Fiasco ft. Matthew Santos (Peak: #10, Year-End: #63)

This’ll probably restore a lot of the credibility I lost from that last pick, although I’m sure quite a few of you are disappointed that this didn’t make the list proper. The best Hip-Hop hit of 2008, Superstar details the struggles that come with being famous, all over a simple yet effective beat and with one of the most iconic Pop-Rap hooks of all time. While it may not have made the list, I still like it a whole lot more than the autotuned gunk that made my Worst list.

Honorable Mention: 7 Things by Miley Cyrus (Peak: #9, Year-End: #92)

Annnddd there goes the last of any shred of respect you guys had for me. I’ve seen this appear on multiple Worst of 2008 lists, and yet it’s the final cut from my Best List. I am actively embarrassed to like this song as much as I do, but please allow me to explain. It has a mix of Country Pop verses and explosive Pop Punk hooks where Miley lists the seven things she hates about her ex, rumored to be Nick Jonas. However, the final chorus is her listing the seven things she likes about her ex, making her complicated feelings for him clear. Sure, it’s total teenage drama, but there’s a place for that, but unfortunately, there wasn’t a place for it on the list proper. So, what could have made the list ahead of one of my biggest guilty pleasures? Well, how about the only non-Taylor Swift country hit of 2008?

#10: You’re Gonna Miss This by Trace Adkins (Peak: #12, Year-End: #93)

While 2008 was on whole a pretty varied year for music, there were very slim pickings for Country. However, the one Country hit not by Taylor Swift on the Year-End list was right up my alleyway. In case y’all haven’t figured out, I’m a real sucker for songs about nostalgia and reflection on one’s past, and this hits it to a tee. The song follows the story of a girl growing up, from high school in the first verse to a starry-eyed newlywed in the second and a mother of two young kids in the third verse, with someone reminding her in each verse to savor the moment, because even if she doesn’t know it at the moment, she’ll end up missing the good ol’ days. While it didn’t quite click for me at first, it’s grown on me a fair deal since I made the order of the list, so you could probably bump this up a few spots, but I’m not changing the order, so #10 it is.

#9: Hate That I Love You by Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo (Peak: #7, Year-End: #62)

In my Worst Hit Songs of 2010 list, I stated that I was not a huge Rihanna fan. I will now take this opportunity to rephrase that: I think she’s inconsistent. She’s definitely made some bad songs like Rude Boy (the song I was talking about when I said that I wasn’t a fan), S&M and a certain atrocity I may be talking about in the near future, she’s also had more than a few great hits, and this is definitely one of them. Her other two solo hits in ‘08, Disturbia and Don’t Stop The Music, were both pretty good (EDIT: I completely forgot about Take A Bow, derp! It's pretty good too), but it was this, her R&B duet with Ne-Yo that really stood out to me.

The instrumental is a simple acoustic guitar paired with a clap percussion track, a lot more stripped-down and refined than the over-the-top club bangers that were beginning to take over Pop Music around this time. Riri and Ne-Yo are both using their voices to their best effect, and they work together really well. As for the lyrics, they’re just about the love-hate relationship they have, and that as much as they both want to call it off and end it, neither of them will ever have the heart to do so. Riri, more stuff like this and less like… that one song I’ll talk about soon.

#8: Our Song/Love Story by Taylor Swift (Peak: #16/#4, Year-End: #41/#81)

Yeah, Country Taylor is the best Taylor. While she has made some good Pop songs (Style for example), most of my favorite Taylor Swift songs are from her earlier Pop Country days, and Our Song and Love Story are no exceptions to that trend.

First up, Our Song. This is one of the countriest songs Taylor has ever made. The instrumentation is full of Country instruments like Banjos, Fiddle and Acoustic Guitar, and Taylor’s putting a pretty good Southern drawl. The lyrical content is straight-up adorable, being about how Taylor noticed that she and her boyfriend didn’t have a song, only for her boyfriend to respond that their song is the things they do together.

Speaking of adorable, her other hit falls into that category too. Love Story is one of T-Swizzle’s most iconic songs, and that’s saying something considering how many hits she’s accrued over the past 13 years. Based off of the story of Romeo and Juliet, Taylor sings about her love that her family disapproves of, except unlike the original story where they both commit suicide, this one ends happily, as Taylor’s family comes around on the relationship, and the end up tying the not and riding off into the sunset. Is it straight out of a teenage girl’s diary? Yes. Do I care? No, this song is great.

#7: Hot N’ Cold by Katy Perry (Peak: #3, Year-End: #36)

Speaking of music associated with teenage girls, this is yet another guilty pleasure. This might be even more embarrassing than the time I put California Gurls in the Honorable Mentions of my Best of 2010 list, at least it didn’t actually make the list proper. Meanwhile, Katy can barely sing this song live, why is this bubblegum making my Top 10 in a year with much cooler stuff? Well, allow me to explain.

Hot N’ Cold may be total, complete bubblegum, but dang it sure is some tasty bubblegum. The song opens up with one of the best burns ever, “you change your mind like a girl changes clothes”, which is pretty much all you need to know about the lyrical content, a rip into her indecisive boyfriend, before exploding into that monster of a hook. The production isn’t anything special, just typical Late 2000s Pop Rock, but dang is it a blast. As with Realize, you can go ahead and take my man card for liking this song, but I ain’t gonna change my mind, this song is awesome!

#6: It’s Not My Time by 3 Doors Down (Peak: #17, Year-End: #52)

Hmmm, maybe I can keep my man card after all. The Late 2000s were the last time that Mainstream Rock was still relevant, and 3 Doors Down was one of the mainstays of the genre during that decade. Kryptonite is awesome, and would’ve been awfully close to making my Best of 2001 list had it not been a repeat from 2000 (spoilers for when I get to that year, and I will 100% do that, it’s my birth year), but this might just be even better.

To start, the instrumentation kicks ass. The song opens up with a crunchy guitar riff, dies back down into restrained verses, before unleashing again on the chorus and eventually on a killer solo. 2000s Rock was oftentimes sludgy and depressing (cough cough It’s Been Awhile), but this is that era of Rock done right. 

Lyrically, the song is about overcoming adversity and pushing on through hard times, keeping hope through it all, perfectly encapsulated through the line “This life we live is not what we have, it’s what we believe”, one of the best lyrics of the entire year. Sure, Brad Arnold’s vocals are pretty standard Post-Grunge stuff, but he puts enough passion and intensity into his performance to get this past the finish line as a 9/10 Hard Rock banger. Let’s all hope for a Rock revival in the decade to come, I’d love to see more stuff like this on the charts.

#5: Bleeding Love/Better In Time by Leona Lewis (Peak: #1/#11, Year-End: #2/#53)

These next two entries on the list are part of the “why the heck didn’t we keep her around” category, and for the first of them, we have British singer Leona Lewis, who briefly blew up in 2008 before fading into irrelevance by 2010 (although she did stay big in Europe until about 2013), and I’ve just got to ask, considering the quality of the two singles I’m about to discuss: why?

First off, we have Bleeding Love, one of the biggest hits of the entire decade. The instrumentation is basically the same as in Blank Space by Taylor Swift, a hit from seven years later. Lyrically, it’s about Leona opening herself up to falling in love with the subject of her affection, even as those she’s close to and even herself think it’s a bad idea to fall for him. Leona’s performance is typical for female vocalists in the mould of Mariah Carey, incredible range and versatility, but can also get a bit pitchy at times. If I wasn’t doing ties, this would’ve made the Honorable Mentions, but not the list proper.

Fortunately for her, the next single, Better In Time, was a much better showing of her talents. The instrumental is a mix of piano, strings and percussion, both from drum machines and actual drums. The lyrics are about her getting over an ex, even if she still has feelings for him, knowing that “it’ll all get better in time”. The vocals are really what set this above Bleeding Love (let me make this clear, that song is still great), as she avoids sounding pitchy, while still showing off her strong range. This is a hidden gem, and I’m glad that I found it. We could’ve used a little more Leona than just these two singles if this was anything to go off of.

#4: Tattoo/One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks (Peak: #8/#17, Year-End: #30/#61)

For Part 2 of the “why the heck didn’t we keep her around” series, we have Jordin Sparks, an American Idol winner who was briefly big in the Late 2000s before seeing her luck dry up in the decade to come. She had three hits in 2008, including the Chris Brown duet No Air, and while that song is perfectly fine, it was her two solo hits that year that stood out to me.

To begin, we’ve got Tattoo, her first hit after American Idol. The production is fairly standard for the time, a mix of Synths, Acoustic Guitar and Strings, albeit very well done. Lyrically, it’s about Jordin making the tough decision to end a relationship, even though she still has feelings for him. As for her vocals, I can 100% see why she won American Idol, her voice is clearer and cleaner than a freshly washed window.

How about her other solo hit in 2008, One Step At A Time? Well, that’s pretty dang good too. The lyrics are about not hurrying life and taking things, well, One Step At A Time, something that resonates for this 19 year old that graduated High School last year. The instrumental is built around a funky backbeat and piano line, and Jordin gets a free pass to showcase her pipes in the backing vocals (everything else about her performance is basically the same as in Tattoo). Overall, I don’t see any reason why she faded away from the spotlight after 2009, it’d have been good to have kept her around in the 2010s, but how about an act who broke out around this time and did stick around in the 2010s?

#3: Stop And Stare by OneRepublic (Peak: #12, Year-End: #33)

Let me get my own bias out of the way: I’ve got memories with this song. Heck, I’d probably call myself a fan of OneRepublic, albeit with a small f. Sure, they’re by no means a Rock band, and they’re probably one of those bands associated more with soccer moms than with anything Rock related, but I like ‘em anyway.

However, I’m pretty sure that this, along with Apologize (which would’ve likely ended up in a tie with this had it not been a repeat from 2007) and Counting Stars (a likely contender for an eventual Best of 2013 list) are songs that everyone agrees to be great. First of all, this is probably the most Rock than OneRepublic has ever gone. The song opens up with acoustic guitar, adds in percussion in the pre chorus and then finally lets it all loose in that monster of a hook. Heck, there’s even a bit of a solo.

Lyrically, it’s about feeling like your life is going nowhere and feeling like you don’t have much of a reason to keep going, yet pushing on anyway, even if you don’t think it’ll get you anyway (or at least that’s my guess, the lyrics are pretty vague and there’s barely anything on the Lyrics Genius page). Frontman Ryan Tedder gives possibly the best performance of his entire career, and he ain’t even half bad in the first place. Overall, this is probably my favorite OneRepublic hit, and it earns the bronze medal on this list.

#2: Shadow Of The Day by Linkin Park (Peak: #15, Year-End: #55)

Now for a band that I know significantly less about, but still know that this does not match up with most of their discography. I’m mostly ambivalent towards Linkin Park, at least from the stuff of theirs that I know, but there’s no denying that this is absolutely fantastic. The lyrical content is about overcoming the loss of a loved one, which is powerful in it’s own right, but with the later context of Chester Bennington’s unfortunate fate, it hits even harder. The sound of the song is absolutely fantastic, a mix of slow, chugging bass and guitar, twinkling synths and elegant strings that build up to the climax of a simple yet powerful solo. This is one of the best sounding songs I’ve ever heard, and it’s no surprise that I liked this so much… because it’s been done before.

Yes, this is obviously inspired by With Or Without You by U2, thus making this the fourth best list in a row that I’ve praised U2, either directly or by proxy. You’ll have to wait for a future Best of 1987 list to hear my full thoughts, but I’ll just say that With Or Without You is one of the most objectively perfect songs ever made. However, the added context of Shadow Of The Day makes it very hard to choose between the two songs, so I’ll just say that they’re two sides of the same amazing coin. R.I.P. Chester Bennington, 1976-2017.

However, Shadow Of The Day was never going to be my #1, because there is one song that I have gone through the entire list without mentioning. One that pretty much everyone agrees to be not just a great song, but a song that has already cemented itself as a legend among mortals, one that will stand the test of time for as long as Popular Music is a thing, and really, was it ever going to be anything else?

#1: Viva La Vida by Coldplay (Peak: #1, Year-End: #13)

Surprise, everybody! Yep, there was no way that this song was going to be dethroned. It’s the obvious choice for #1, but sometimes something is obvious because it is correct, because Viva La Vida by Coldplay is one of the greatest songs of all time.

To start, that instrumentation is absolutely breathtaking. It’s quite possibly the most elegant composition of any hit song I’ve ever heard, and yes, that is counting November Rain. It’s not just any regular production, but a full on symphony, which lines up pretty well with the lyrics.

Inspired by the rise and fall of numerous historical figures such as Napoleon and chalk full of religious references, the song tells the tale of a king who was once immensely powerful, but who has since fallen from grace. Then again, that is just one of the endless interpretations of the lyrics, which are probably the single best set I have ever heard in my entire life. Add in Chris Martin’s superb vocal performance and you have quite possibly the single best Billboard #1 Hit of all time, and easily, without question, The Best Hit Song of 2008. I could not do the song justice if I tried, so I’d recommend you guys go back and rediscover this masterpiece in all its glory.

Up next, I’ll go back to 2012, one of the most fondly remembered years in recent pop music history, and see if it was really so good after all, but until then, have a great day!