Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2008

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2008

Welcome back to my blog, and this time, we’re taking a look back at 2008. Since I covered a year from the Early 2000s (2001), I figured I might as well go look at the other end of the decade. I chose 2008 because it’s right in between 2010, a year I’ve already looked at, and 2006, a year I have plans to look at in the near future. Also, because the economy right now as I’m writing this (May of 2020) is tanking because of the Coronavirus, and 2008 was the last time we had a recession, so that’s a thing.

Anyway, how was 2008’s Pop Music? Well, it was actually a pretty dang solid year for music. As with the last year I looked at (1992), this was quite a transitional year for popular music. Ringtone Rap was on its way out, and Club Music was on its way in. R&B was huge, Pop was on the rise, Rock was still relevant and Country was… pretty much nonexistent aside from Taylor Swift. The total score for the 90 songs that debuted on the 2008 Billboard Year-End list clocked in at 290/450, or 64.4%, the highest of any modern year I’ve covered. With all that said, there was still a wide selection of bad pop music to pick from this year, so let’s cut right to the chase and take a look at the worst that 2008 had to offer, starting with our Dishonorable Mentions!

Dishonorable Mention: Addicted by Saving Abel (Peak: #20, Year-End: #97)

To start off, we have a song about a strained, toxic relationship that is only together because of how much he likes getting head. It’s a sludgy Post-Grunge song that was one of the genre’s last dying breaths, and for good reason.

Dishonorable Mention: Leavin’ by Jesse McCartney (Peak: #10, Year-End: #28)

In this song, Jesse McCartney tries to convince a girl to dump her current boyfriend and get with him, because he can “do it better than he can”. Now, this could potentially work for someone like Usher, but not from this very white twerp. He’s not a bad performer, just not someone who can pull this off.

Dishonorable Mention: Sorry by Buckcherry (Peak: #9, Year-End: #44)

A remorseful power ballad like this would usually work for me, but there are two very serious problems with this. One: This band is usually quite sleazy, such as another single of theirs entitled “Crazy B*tch”, and Two: The frontman is a terrible singer who can’t pull off sincerity to save his life, so I have a hard time buying this song’s premise. Hand it off to another band and it could’ve worked, but not with this band.

Dishonorable Mention: Pocketful Of Sunshine/Love Like This (ft. Sean Kingston) by Natasha Bedingfield (Peak: #5/#11, Year-End: #18/#72)

I feel like I’m killing my childhood by putting Pocketful Of Sunshine on the list, even as a Dishonorable Mention, I remember hearing it all the time as a little kid, but I’m sorry, it really hasn’t held up all that well. The verses sound like she’s talking down to the listener, and the chorus is quite oversung. While the production isn’t all that bad, it is pretty dated. Sorry 7 year old me, but 19 year old me doesn’t like this.

As for the other song, Love Like This, I don’t recall hearing it back in the day, so I feel no such guilt about putting this on the list. It’s a duet between Natasha and Sean Kingston, who was 17 when this came out in September of 2007. They have zero chemistry, the song is almost insufferably chipper and the autotune on Natasha’s voice is really, REALLY dated. I’ll have to revisit Unwritten when I get around to 2006, but her 2008 material wasn’t all that good.

Dishonorable Mention: She Got It by 2 Pistols ft. T-Pain and Tay Dzim (Peak: #24, Year-End: #100)

This is the third Year-End retrospective in a row where I’ve talked about the bottom song on the list, and unlike in 2017 and 1992, 2008’s Mr. Irrelevant was not a good way to cap off the Year-End list. The instrumental tries for some grandeur with the choir in the background, but the generic strip club lyrics don’t match it at all. Also, the synth line can get a bit repetitive after a while. Man, there were so many songs about strip clubs in the 2000s.

Dishonorable Mention: Paper Planes by M.I.A. (Peak: 4, Year-End: #35)

Ooh mama, this could get me into some hot water. Let me make this clear, the lyrical content isn’t the problem I have with this song. Sure, it’s a satire of stereotypical American views on third world immigrants, but I can take a bit of political satire. Heck, I even kinda enjoy the chorus. No, my main problem comes down to the production and delivery. The beat repeats throughout the entire song, and it gets annoying pretty fast, which is not helped by M.I.A.’s thick Cockney accent and slightly off beat flow. I’m sorry, not a fan of this song.

Dishonorable Mention: Damaged by Danity Kane (Peak: #10, Year-End: #42)

The final cut from the list, this was one of two hits from girl group Danity Kane. The lyrical concept of asking how a new lover can repair a broken heart isn’t bad, but the delivery gets quite annoying at points throughout the song, especially in the “so how ya gonna fix it” part. The production is… very dated to say the least. While there are enough redeeming qualities to keep this off the list proper, it’s not something I’m planning on returning to anytime soon.

Hey, speaking of the list proper, let’s get on to it, shall we?

#10: 4 Minutes by Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland (Peak: #3, Year-End: #23)

There is no better way to start off a list than with a hot take, amirite? Yeah, I’m not a fan of the Queen of Pop’s final hit, a duet with Justin Timberlake and producer Timbaland, for reasons I will get to right now.

First, the production. I’ll admit that I’m not too familiar with Timbaland as a producer, but I do know that he was absolutely massive in the 2000s, especially in his work with Justin Timberlake. However, I’m not a fan of the obviously fake horns and clanking percussion. The lyrics are just as cluttered, as it can’t figure out whether it wants to be about sex or a social messaging song. Also, Madonna going “tick tock tick tock tick tock” is annoying. If I’m being honest, I can’t fully quantify why I dislike this song, all I know is that I do, and it’s #10 on my list.

#9: The Boss by Rick Ross ft. T-Pain (Peak: #17, Year-End: #84)

I can definitely quantify why this is on the worst list, though, because it’s one of the messiest songs I’ve ever heard. It’s in the same category as Wiggle or Mo Bamba, songs that fail so epically that I can’t take it seriously. The instrumental is dated as all heck, it only could’ve been made in the Late 2000s. The lyrics from Rick “put molly all in her champagne” Ross are generic bars about being a boss, and T-Pain’s hook is just him repeating the word “boss” in a bunch of different inflections, all with some of the most hilariously bad auto tune ever. This is pretty much on the same level as The Lonely Island, who I’m sure took inspiration from this wonderful disaster of a song.

#8: Lil Wayne (Three hilariously bad songs on the Year-End list)

When people complain about modern Pop music, one of the first things that comes up is autotune, and when people complain about autotune, one of the first artists that comes up is none other than Sir Dwayne Michael Carter II, also known as Lil Wayne. For as interesting a year as 2008 was, the absolute ubiquity of autotune was one of the worst things about this year, and Lil Wayne was the primary culprit (T-Pain also overused autotune, but at least he did it in some more interesting ways). Lil Wayne had a total of eight year-end entries this year, but I’ve singled out three that I dislike for some reason, so let’s just get right into it.

First up on the chopping block, we have Lollipop, the fourth biggest hit of the year. Now, what could possibly be the “lollipop” that Wayne is referring to? I’ll give you a second to think about it.

If you guessed that it was his penis, you would be correct. However, the sexual metaphor is far from the only problem, as the song is filled with ridiculous bars like “I made that @$$ jump like jerp jerp” and “when I’m at the bottom she Hillary Rodham”, all rapped/sung with absurd amounts of autotune. Now, I will concede that the chorus (if you can call it that) is… strangely beautiful if I’m being honest, but that is nowhere near enough to make up for the hilariously bad autotune and hypersexualized lyrics.

Next up, Got Money ft. T-Pain. I initially cut this one some slack for being hilariously bad, but hilariously bad is still bad. The beat is a drum machine and buzzing synths that get annoying after a while, and the lyrics are about having tons of money, screwing tons of h0es and wearing tons of fancy jewelry, about as cliched as Hip-Hop luxury p0rn can get. Once again, I find a lot of ironic enjoyment out of this song, but that doesn’t make it any less terrible on an objective level.

The third and final song to rip into is A Milli. I’ll cut straight to the chase here: the beat is annoying. It’s just a dude repeating the word “A Milli” an unfathomable amount of times, and it wears out its welcome in record time. As for the lyrics, Wayne has his fair share of wack lines, such as “I’m a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed” and “I be the s**t now you got loose bowels”. I honestly don’t know who thought these lines were a good idea, but then again, Lil Wayne comes up with them on the fly, so I guess it’s just a sneak peek into the bizarre mind of Lil Wayne. I honestly respect him on some level for making me laugh my @$$ off, even if it is more often than not out of embarrassment, and these are nowhere near Lil Wayne’s worst songs, but that doesn’t make them any good, even if I do find them funny.

#7: Independent by Webbie ft. Lil’ Boosie and Lil’ Phat (Peak: #9, Year-End: #45)

Quick tip: NEVER spell out the title of your song in the chorus. It sounds really condescending and makes this song become a lot more annoying than it needed to be. These guys praise how I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T this woman is, yet also reassures us plebs about how much they’re screwing her, referring to their sausages as a d*ck and a Jew (I guess one of them is circumcised). Also, the beat sounds like a bad DJ Mustard track from 2014, with the gang vocals, and two synth lines that are pitchy and farting respectively. Unfortunately, one of the rappers on this track didn’t make it to 2014, as Lil’ Phat was murdered in 2012. R.I.P. Lil’ Phat, but that doesn’t make this song any good.

#6: Get Like Me by David Banner ft. Chris Brown and Yung Joc (Peak: #16, Year-End: #66)

Oh great, Ringtone Rap! Possibly the only music genre where there is not a single song that I like unironically (at least Trap has Old Town Road and Panini). Fortunately, this trend was on its way out by ‘08, but that doesn’t mean that there weren’t a few stragglers that managed to stick around, notably Get Like Me by David Banner. He had a hit in 2005 with Play, which is even worse than this, but that’s not what I’m talking about here, but really, what is there to even talk about with this one? It’s just a bunch of empty flexing over a dated minimalist beat with an uninteresting lead artist. Chris Breezy and Yung Joc try to bring a little personality, but that’s snuffed out by their verses being just as generic and worthless as the lead artist’s. Really, there’s not a whole lot here, so let’s move onto something a bit more… objectionable.

#5: I Luv Your Girl by The_Dream ft. Young Jeezy (Peak: #20, Year-End: #75)

Ooh boy, we’re getting into the real crap here. The problem with this particular track is evident just from the title alone: it’s a song where The_Dream steals YOUR girl (all credit for that joke goes to Spectrum Pulse). The backing vocals are somehow boring and yet kinda creepy, and the outro is one of the douchiest things I’ve ever heard in my entire life…

“Part of me feels so bad, but ooh! Not that bad”

That’s a line that a cartoon villain uses after they commit some dastardly deed, and frankly, breaking up a couple so that you can have the girl fits that description pretty well. I’m sure it was meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but it sure as heck doesn’t come across that way. Let’s leave this and songs like it in the past, it’s better that way.

#4: In The Ayer by Flo Rida ft. Will.i.am (Peak: #9, Year-End: #59)

Oh hot damn, this ain’t my jam. Jokes aside, Flo Rida’s other hit in 2008 sucks. The synths sound like a loud fart, and can get quite grating at times, especially in the bridge before the final chorus. Speaking of the chorus, I have no reason to listen to this song when I could listen to Low instead. I mean, I’m not the biggest fan of that song (I can’t remember a single line outside of hook). That’s the case here as well, as not a single person has ever cared about Flo Rida’s verses. Will.i.am is as robotic as ever, and the “key change” on the final chorus is just Will.i.am pitch shifted. Really, this is just the bottom of the barrel for club music, similar to Like A G6 on my Worst of 2010 list. We’re gonna get into some real s**t for our Top 3, so let’s get onto that, shall we?

#3: When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls (Peak: #9, Year-End: #49)

Surprise, everyone! Yeah, quite possibly the most hated song from this entire year is going to make my worst list, because it deserves it’s bad reputation 100%.

To start, let’s talk about the production. It’s a collection of fake drums and buzzing synths, some of which are uncomfortably high-pitched. There’s also this alarm sound at the beginning, presumably warning us about how bad the song you’re about to listen to is.

So, why else is this so bad? Quite simply, this is almost impressively obnoxious. The girls sound like they’re talking down to the audience about how great their lives are and how great being famous is, all while sarcastically saying “be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it”. Umm, you haven’t shown me anything bad about being famous. This is not helped by the constant “HA HA HA HA’s” and “LA LA LA LA’s” the girls do for some God-forsaken reason. The only thing that redeems this even a little bit is the bridge, which admittedly isn’t too bad, but the rest of the song is Blah Blah Blah-level toxic and annoying, and I never want to hear this song again.

#2: Piece Of Me by Britney Spears (Peak: #18, Year-End: #83)

Whatever, I’ll just put #1 up there too.

#1: Womanizer by Britney Spears (Peak: #1, Year-End: #80)

Yup, it’s a Britney Spears 1-2 punch at the top of this list, because GOOD LORD the Late 2000s were not good to Britney Spears. While I don’t hate Britney Spears, her two songs on the 2008 Year-End list were both awful, and are more than worthy of the top two spots on this list. I apologize in advance if my take sounds crass or insensitive, but I’ve gotten myself into this pickle, so I think I should just get this thing over with.

First up, we have Piece Of Me. The production is for the most part typical Late 2000s Electropop, but it has uncomfortably large shifts in volume, going from quiet to loud and back again in a few seconds. I can only assume that someone was messing around in the control room, only for the producers to say “hey, that’s a good idea, let’s keep it”, which I could also say is the case with the pitch shifting to the point of unrecognizability throughout most of the song. 

As for the lyrics, they’re directed at the paparazzi and tabloids, who covered the crap out of Britney Spears’ disastrous 2007, which prompted a variety of responses (including this one you may or may not have seen). I actually don’t have much of a problem with the lyrical content, although I definitely would not have made the main line of the song “you want a piece of me”, which is basically picking for a fight (to be fair, Britney didn’t write the song). Really, though, my big issue with Piece Of Me is that it sounds like @$$.

Piece Of Me, as bad as it is, wasn’t even Britney’s worst hit in 2008, as the lead single to her next album, Womanizer, is not only Britney’s worst hit in 2008, but my least favorite hit of the entire year. The production is suffocating, a mix of various synth sounds (one of which is a buzzing dental drill, my least favorite sound in popular music), which all come together to make one of the worst choruses I’ve ever heard in my life.

Then again, maybe that’s just because of how frickin’ repetitive it is. I counted 39 uses of the word “womanizer” in the song, but it feels like a hell of a lot more than that, considering the problems I mentioned earlier. While it’s directed at some character in the song, it feels like it’s addressed directly to me, and it’s both condescending and inaccurate in that case.

So yeah, Womanizer by Britney Spears is The Worst Hit Song of 2008. I’ll get the best list up in a few days, and I hope you all stay safe from the Coronavirus. Take care and have a good day, I’ll see you next time!

Top 15 Best Hit Songs of 1992: Part 2

Best Hit Songs of 1992

Part 2: Top 15 Best Hit Songs of 1992

Alright, after listing the “worst” songs of the year and the many, many Honorable Mentions for the best list, I think it’s time we get to the Top 15 Best Hit Songs of 1992. As I mentioned last time, 1992 was a great year for popular music, ending up with a score of 373/495, or 75.3%, blowing the previous high score set by 2010 (61.6%) out of the water. Considering that 2001 only got a 60.4%, the dropoff in Pop Music’s overall quality (I.E. when the bad stuff got much worse) likely occurred later on in the 90s, but I’ll have to look at that later. Anyways, I think it’s time that we get on with the list, so without further ado, here are the Top 15 Best Hit Songs of 1992!

#15: Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough by Patty Smyth and Don Henley (Peak: #2, Year-End: #22)

Starting off the list, we have a duet between Patty Smyth, most known for her work with Scandal, who had a Top 10 hit in 1984 with The Warrior and Don Henley, famous for being one of the two frontmen for The Eagles, including on Hotel California. The instrumentation is pretty standard Rock ballad stuff, but that ain’t such a bad thing. What really put this song over the hump to make it on to the list proper, however, are the lyrics about the struggles that come from trying to keep a relationship going over time when you and your partner end up changing so much as people. I think it’s beneficial that a song with this subject was performed by people with more years under their belt than your typical popstar (Patty Smyth was 35 and Don Henley was 45 when the song came out). Say what you will about Boomers, but you can’t deny that they made some dang good music. Hey, speaking of veteran acts making great songs…

#14: I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt (Peak: #18, Year-End: #100)

It’s rare for an artist to peak in commercial success in their 40s, but that was exactly the case with Bonnie Raitt. After years of critical acclaim, she achieved mainstream success in the Early 90s, notably with Something To Talk About, a Top 5 hit from the previous year. However, I Can’t Make You Love Me clicked for me for being a wonderfully minimalist piano ballad about how she’s willing to let her relationship go, since it’s clear that it’s not going to work out. Bonnie’s performance is restrained and yet incredibly heartfelt at the same time. As with the last entry on this list, I’d argue that her age helped the song out, as I don’t think it would’ve had the same power if a younger and flashier artist had performed it. Also, this is the second best list in a row where the Year-End #100 made it, so that’s interesting. The next entry, however, was a little… bigger.

#13: To Be With You by Mr. Big (Peak: #1, Year-End: #12)

Jokes aside, this is one of the most adorable songs ever made. This is famous for being the last song by a Hair Metal band to go to #1, although it’s much less Hair Metal than it is a charming Soft Rock ballad. Frontman Eric Martin wrote it when he was a teenager about one of his sister’s friends and waited well over a decade to put the song out, but it all paid off in the end. It’s got a perfect singalong chorus and a vibe of jamming around the campfire, so I can definitely see why it was a #1 hit, even if it’s genre was cratering. Sure, it’s total cheese, but dang it, just let me have this one.

#12: Real Love by Mary J. Blige (Peak: #7, Year-End: #85)

See, I don’t dislike Mary J. Blige, even if I’m not a fan of her biggest hit. In contrast to the made-up words of Family Affair, this, her first hit, is quite a bit… realer (pun 100% intended). Real Love is simply about her desire to find a lover who’s right for her after a failed relationship. She’s not found what she’s been looking for, and even though she has some doubts that it’ll ever come, she’s still gonna keep on searching. While the production is clearly of it’s time, that’s not a bad thing in this case, and Mary’s voice is fantastic. It’s one of the most wonderfully simple songs of the entire year, and there’s nothing else that I can say.

#11: All I Want by Toad The Wet Sprocket (Peak: #15, Year-End: #53)

Huh, looks like the 80s weren’t the only decade with stupid band names. However, as bands like Dexy’s Midnight Runners and Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark have shown, a stupid band name does not mean that the music is going to be bad, and that is definitely the case with Toad The Wet Sprocket. Alternative Rock had been on the rise for a good few years by this point, and 1992 is the year where it became Rock’s premier genre, and while grunge may get the credit, this R.E.M.-y Jangle Pop is my preferred type of Alt-Rock. This is a rather simple song about not feeling the same way about his partner that she feels for him, even though he really wants to (at least that’s what I got from the song’s Genius page, the lyrics are pretty vague). Really though, it’s just on the list because it sounds great, and these lists are determined solely by how much my ears enjoy the music, so that’s all I really need to say about it, it’s just a really good song.

#10: Tell Me What You Want Me To Do by Tevin Campbell (Peak: #6, Year-End: #35)

Ooh, this could get me in some hot water. This was on Nerd With An Afro’s worst list for this year, and it’s not like I don’t understand why. Yes, the production is dated as all heck. Yes, the lyrics are as sappy as a maple tree. Yes, Tevin Campbell is clearly trying to be Off The Wall era Michael Jackson in his delivery, and yes, I have no idea how he hit that Mariah Carey-esque high note. However, I’m a sucker for that type of Late 80s-Early 90s R&B production, dated as it is. Sappy lyrics don’t get to me nearly as much as it does for other people. Off The Wall just happens to be my favorite era of Michael Jackson, and yes, I was blown away by the high note, and it’s the main reason it made it onto this list. TL;DR: One man’s trash is another’s hidden gem. Hey, you know how I mentioned Mariah Carey a few sentences ago? Well...

#9: Can’t Let Go by Mariah Carey (Peak: #2, Year-End: #23)

Mariah Carey is an incredible singer, and if you disagree, then well… we’ll have to beg to differ. Now, I’m no Mimi stan (Loverboy was a Dishonorable Mention on my Worst of 2001 list, after all), and on the whole I prefer Whitney Houston, but that doesn’t mean that Mariah isn’t one of the most impressive vocalists ever to hit the pop scene. Can’t Let Got has the perfect balance of restraint and belting, and the lowkey instrumentation is just as flawless, and has held up much better than the previous song. The lyrics are about as basic post-breakup lyrics as you can get, but when the one behind the mic is Mariah Carey in her prime, that’s no issue at all (and beside, I did just say that basic, cliched lyrics don’t bother me). Mariah, more of this and less of songs like Loverboy and Obsessed, OK?

#8: Friday I’m In Love by The Cure (Peak: #18, Year-End: #71)

Ladies and Gentlemen, here is The Cure to all unhappiness… sorry. Ironic, considering that The Cure are most known as a Goth Rock band, and Goth is about the furthest thing from happiness in the universe. However, The Cure saw an explosion of success in the Late 80s and Early 90s, and moved in a more mainstream direction in order to capitalize on it, before the Rock scene moved in a much more downbeat and angsty direction right around the time this song hit it big. To give a quick summary of this song, the narrator doesn’t care if the work week blew, because he can always look forward to Friday, the day that begins the three day reprieve where one can do whatever they want. Even in troubling times such as these (check out the date this was posted in case you’re reading from the future), this song never fails to put a smile (or at least a positive expression) on my face, and really, what more can you ask from a pop song?

#7: I Will Remember You by Amy Grant (Peak: #20, Year-End: #96)

Ooh, here’s another hot take! Amy Grant was a Contemporary Christian singer who saw big time crossover success in the Early 90s, and I liked all three of her songs on the 1992 Year-End List. However, it was her most minor hit of the year, I Will Remember You that clicked for me the most. Sure, a lot of the production is quite dated (although I do like the electric guitar touches), but it still works for me. Amy Grant, while not the most technically impressive singer, pulls off a great performance. 

It’s the lyrics, though, that put it so high on this list. I’m a sucker for songs about reflection on one’s past (see my Best of 2017 list for the biggest example of that), and this hits it to a tee, as she reflects on her long gone relationship and all the great times they had together. She doesn’t hold any bitterness towards this guy (not saying that songs about post-breakup bitterness can’t work, they can), but rather a sense of nostalgia. While she wishes that it could come back and still has feelings for him, she’s accepted that it’s over, and has moved on.

With that being said, I might just prefer Skid Row’s version of this song.

#6: Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton (Peak: #2, Year-End: #6)

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure that I can even talk about this one. I don’t know how to approach something with such a heavy subject matter, but I’ll try anyway, here goes nothing…

In August of 1990, Clapton’s friend and fellow guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan died in a helicopter accident. Nine months later, his son Conor died from falling out of a window from 53 stories up. Clapton wrote the song with songwriter Will Jennings (who wrote songs like Up Where We Belong, Higher Love and My Heart Will Go On) both for the 1991 film Rush and as a tribute to the previously mentioned friend and son. Or, in other words, let me quote from Diamond Axe Studios’ Best of 1992 list:

“The first time I listened to this, I was gonna make it a Dishonorable Mention because of how much Eric Clapton sounds like a dying dog on this song. Then I looked up the reason that Clapton wrote this song. I listened to it again, and by the end of the song I had tears in my eyes. It’s too depressing and context dependent to make the list proper, but… damn this song can make you feel things.”

Now, I knew about the context before listening to the song for this list, but even if I hadn’t, I still would’ve thought it was a sweet song. However, the context really does add a lot to it. R.I.P. Conor Clapton, 1986-1991.

#5: Mysterious Ways/One by U2 (Peak: #9/#10, Year-End: #57/#60)

Yup, this is the second list in a row where U2 has ended up in my Top 5. Beautiful Day topped my Best of 2001 list (although Austin was admittedly very close to nabbing the top spot, seriously that song is amazing). While I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a fan (Bono is one of the most pretentious celebrities out there, and that’s saying something), U2 has made more than their share of fantastic songs, and they sure delivered in 1992. 

Let’s start with Mysterious Ways, the (slightly) bigger of their two hits this year. I’ll get the obvious out of the way first: the bassline is awesome. Apparently bassist Adam Clayton was just jamming out and came up with this bassline that gives Superstition by Stevie Wonder a run for its money in terms of funkiness. According to the song’s Lyrics Genius page, the lyrics describe a man who doesn’t understand how love works, but really, when the groove is this strong, not a whole lot else matters. 

Next, we get to their other hit in 1992, One. This is frequently listed as one of the greatest songs of all time, and while I wouldn’t go that far, it’s a damn good song nonetheless. Unlike Mysterious Ways, whose main focus is on the bassline, this song’s acclaim comes from the lyrics, which are stuffed with Biblical references and have been interpreted in a wide variety of ways. On the surface, though, the lyrics appear to be about not seeing eye to eye and wishing to live as one even with the differences. I really don’t have a whole lot to say about it that hasn’t been said already, so let’s move on to the parting shot of a dying genre.

#4: When I Look Into Your Eyes by Firehouse (Peak: #8, Year-End: #82)

So, here it is everyone. The final Hair Metal hit. Press F to pay respects if you want to. Still, it’s the perfect swan song to one of the biggest genres of the previous decade. I may have said this at some point, but in case I haven’t, Hair Metal ballads are among my biggest guilty pleasures, and yeah, it’s all here on this one. The explosive, lighters-in-the-air chorus, the harmonies in the background, the guitar solo and the frickin’ key change at the end scream 80s Power Ballad cliché in the best way possible. I have no idea how it was a Top 10 hit in the Fall of 1992, a full year after Nirvana broke through, but hey, nothing changes overnight, so this must’ve gotten in right before the window permanently closed. Either way, it’s just my type of cheese, and I expect to cover a lot of these types of songs when I eventually get around to the Late 80s. Now, for an act and genre that had a bit more staying power in the 90s…

#3: End Of The Road/It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday by Boyz II Men (Peak: #1/#2, Year-End: #1/#37)

Boyz II Men were absolutely gigantic during the 90s, scoring five #1 Hits, three of which spent over 10 weeks at #1. 

End Of The Road was, ironically considering the title, their first number one, breaking the record for longest run at #1, clocking in at 13 weeks (the record is now 19 weeks as of the time I’m writing this). It’s a fairly standard breakup song, with the guys lamenting how their girl left them, and how they’ll do anything to get her back, even though any effort will likely be futile (gosh, it’s awkward to talk about four dudes singing about one girl). However, the guys perform it exceptionally well, with the solo parts on the verses all coming together for that fantastic harmonized chorus. Seriously, why did they disappear after the 90s wrapped up? They should've been huge through at least the Early-Mid 2000s when R&B was still huge. 

Now, onto their other hit in 1992, which I’d argue is even better. Originally a minor R&B hit in 1975, Boyz II Men did an acapella cover of it that is absolutely sublime. The lyrics are about looking back fondly at someone you’ve lost, whether that be a breakup or the death of a loved one. It’s just the guys on this one, however, and they absolutely steal the show here. The song doesn’t really have a chorus, but that gives each of them space to shine, with the others harmonizing in the background over a minimalist snap track. It’s a truly wonderful acapella track, and it lands a spot on 1992’s pop olympics podium.

#2: The One by Elton John (Peak: #9, Year-End: #43)

Now, for one of the most acclaimed and timeless acts in Pop history. So much so that he was actually knighted, and I’m not one to disagree, because this is a fantastic song. It’s hard to describe how great this song is, everything is amazing. The instrumentation is powerful and yet not overwhelming. The lyrics, co-written with longtime partner Bernie Taupin, are simple, yet poetic, and Elton John is… well, Elton John. His voice aged like fine wine, even with the surgery in the Late 80s. The six minute runtime of the song flies by, it keeps you engaged the whole way through. It’s almost too perfect, which is why it’s not, well, The One. So, what could that be?

I have had my fair share of hot takes on this list, haven’t I? I mean, I put a sixteen year old MJ clone, a Contemporary Christian singer and a Hair Metal band on my best list, not to mention Smells Like Teen Spirit not making the list at all. However, my #1 is certainly not a hot take. My pick for the Best Hit Song of 1992 will surprise pretty much no one, because it is widely regarded as one of the greatest songs of all time, a description that I in no way disagree with. In fact, I think that might be understating it, as I cannot think of another hit song from any year or era that is as incredible as this one. While I may not listen to it every day, there was nowhere else this song could be but #1, and whenever I do decide to take a listen, it blows me away every time. So, without further ado, The Best Hit Song of 1992…

#1: November Rain by Guns N’ Roses (Peak: #3, Year-End: #17)

Even though this is my first 90s Year-End and I’m not too familiar with the decade on whole, I feel confident in saying that this is probably the best hit of the entire decade. I mean, what else could it be? It’s a nine minute long odyssey of a song composed of multiple unique sections, each of them going above and beyond the call of duty to create a song that can only be described as legendary. It is a masterpiece of nearly Biblical proportions that I have a hard time believing was actually a hit. So, I will take each section one at a time, starting from the very beginning.

The song opens up with a minute and a half intro that perfectly sets the tone of the song, being a combination of a classical symphony and a hard rock epic. You then get into Axl’s first verse, describing a love that started off strong, but has faded over time. The mix of orchestra and hard rock drums continues in the background. Slash comes in with electric guitar hits as the song builds up and gets more intense, lasting a full four minutes, the length of a typical pop song, before Slash gets to unleash with a guitar solo.

The thing is, this ain’t just any guitar solo, but one of the most legendary solos in Rock history. It hits a perfect balance between precise shredding and long, extended notes that emphasize the emotional gravitas of the story. 

Speaking of the story, did I mention that the lyrics are the most poetic of any song (not just hit songs, but songs period) that I’ve ever heard? Something I’ve noticed is that most pop songs, even very good ones, simply don’t work as spoken-word poetry. It’s meant to be sung, not spoken. However, not only does November Rain work as spoken poetry, but it works fantastically as spoken poetry. Take this for example:

“And when your fears subside

And shadows still remain

I know that you can love me

When there's no one left to blame

So never mind the darkness

We still can find a way

'Cause nothing lasts forever

Even cold November rain”

That follows Slash’s second guitar solo, which while not quite as mind-blowingly amazing as his first, would still be the career high point for most guitarists. After those poetic lines I just quoted, the epic ballad that makes up most of the song ends, but the song itself is far from over. Instead, you enter into an intense buildup and then into a badass guitar solo that takes up the remainder of the song, backed by Axl’s vocals and orchestration that is shredding just as hard as Slash, before the song finally dies down and completes it’s marathon nine minute run time, which seems to go by in the blink of an eye. This became the first 20th Century song to surpass a billion views on YouTube, in no small part because of the extravagant music video that cost a million dollars to make (in 1992 dollars, it’d be 2.7 Million today). It’s one of the most iconic songs of the decade, and is hands down The Best Hit Song of 1992, if not the entire 90s decade. Next up on my blog, I’ll take a look back at 2008, and see what another key transitional year in Pop Music had to offer, but until then, take care and have a wonderful day!