Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2015

 Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2015

Hello readers, welcome back to Gabingston’s Pop Reviews, and today we’ve got a big one, the last year of the 2010s I have yet to look at, 2015. Now, I certainly haven’t saved the best for last (that would be 2012), but I have saved the most important for last, because 2015 was the defining year of the 2010s, and not just in music. This year acted as the bridge between the first half and second half of the 2010s, not just chronologically but in the entire cultural landscape as well. However, that’s beyond the purview of this blog, so I’m just gonna talk about the music. So, how was 2015 for pop music? 

2015 is generally agreed to be one of, if not the, best years for pop music in the 2010s, but I can’t say that I agree with that. Don’t get me wrong, this year wasn’t bad, but it felt pretty middle of the road to me. A lot of the songs I expected to make my best list for this year (Thinking Out Loud, 679 and, yes, even Uptown Funk) shrunk on me, while a lot of songs this year didn’t give me much to talk about, either in a positive or negative sense. When it comes to this year’s bad hits, there weren’t a ton, but the ones that were here were mostly here for being dull, insipid and/or stupid, often times by artists who should’ve known better. The overall score for 2015’s pop music registered as a 285/460, or a 61.9/100. Not bad by any means, but still not quite what it’s hyped up to be (I’ll give it this, it was A LOT better than the following two years). Let’s finally get this list going, starting with our #10.

#10: CoCo by O.T. Genasis (Peak: #20, Year-End: #79)

Starting off our parade of suckage is CoCo by O.T. Genasis, one of the many, MANY Hip-Hop hits that were completely worthless. To start, the beat is about as stock as you can get for a mid-2010s Trap song, just hi-hat, dull synths and this weird transitional sound that plays before the start of some of the choruses, if you can call them that. O.T. Genasis is a mediocre at best rapper, as he uses basically the same flow throughout almost the whole song, only broken up when he says that he’s got baking soda. Lyrically, the premise of this song is quite simple: he’s in love with the CoCo, and he’s not talking about chocolate. Yup, it’s about cocaine. I really don’t have a lot else to say, it’s not exactly an interesting kind of bad song, it just sucks. O.T. Genasis had one more hit following year with Cut It, which is not much better (it might actually be worse in some ways), before disappearing into irrelevance. Good riddance.

#9: Worth It by Fifth Harmony (Peak: #12, Year-End: #23)

Moving on, we’ve got Worth It by Fifth Harmony, the first of three year-end hits from the mid-2010s girl group. Out of those three, this is easily the worst of them. Worth It may be poorly written and dated as all heck, but at least the beat is kinda catchy, and All In My Head (Flex) made my Best of 2016 list. This, on the other hand, was a very, VERY poor first impression for the group. I remember hating this song at the time, and my opinion of this song hasn’t improved much since.

To start, doesn’t that sax riff sound familiar to you? Yup, it’s incredibly similar to the sax riff from Talk Dirty by Jason Derulo, one of the biggest hits of the previous year. Other than that, the production is dated mid-2010s Pop-R&B. The one exception to this mediocrity is the bridge, which is actually pretty good. Seriously, that bridge is a 7.5/10 in an otherwise 3/10 song, but it’s so short that it can’t raise the song too much.

Lyrically, it’s just about the girls from Fifth Harmony (two of whom were underaged upon the song’s release) wanting to get freaky and insisting that they’re “worth it” through one of the most annoying hooks of the decade. That’s about it, nothing more, nothing less. Kid Ink’s guest verse is not much more complex, just him asking his ladies to back that azz up in da club. Aside from Normani on the bridge, none of the girls here are passable vocally, all of them sounding annoying and irritating. I’ve compared Camila Cabello to Vanellope Von Schweetz, a character who is either annoying or adorable with no in between, and Camila definitely falls on the annoying side of that binary. I’ve got to ask why this was the big breakout hit for Fifth Harmony instead of Sledgehammer, which is, I don’t know, actually a good pop song? I for one will never get why, but that’s just how things turned out, and at least I got some material for this worst list six years later.

#8: No Type by Rae Sremmurd (Peak: #16, Year-End: #70)

“I don't got no type (Nah) 

Bad bitches is the only thing that I like”

He… he literally contradicts himself IN THE FIRST LINE OF THE SONG! Seriously, IN THE FIRST LINE! He says that he doesn’t have a type, AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SAYS WHAT HIS TYPE IS! Gosh, how incompetent do you have to be?!

It’s not just that line, though, as the entire song is hilariously incompetent. These guys try to present themselves as badass playas, but between the not-at-all-hard minimalist beat and them sounding like 13 year olds, I don’t buy it for one second. When I was listening to this song while I was going through the year-end list, I pretty much laughed my way through the entire song, and that really hasn’t changed. This song makes me chuckle for all the wrong reasons, and while I couldn’t put it any higher than #8, it’s certainly deserving of a place on this list. Now, how about the song that I hated the most in 2015?

#7: Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae) by Silentó (Peak: #3, Year-End: #8)

Ooh boy did I hate this song in 2015. If Worth It was a big hit, this was utterly inescapable in the fall of 2015, and I absolutely loathed it. I was entering my Freshman year in high school, and at every football game, the entire student section would lose their s**t to this song, and I just stood there wondering why people were going crazy for this steaming pile of dog crap. In fact, when I was in my wrong generation phase in 2016 and 2017, I credited this very song (along with Hotline Bling, a song that I couldn’t stand at the time but have mellowed out on) with the decline of popular music. Admittedly, I was a bit mistaken in my assumptions at the time. For one, Trap had already been big for a couple of years by late 2015, it's just that that was when it went from one of the big trends in popular music to THE big trend in popular music, and for two, this isn't even an original kind of bad song.

Ringtone Rap was a subgenre of Hip-Hop that was big during the mid-late 2000s, approximately 2005-2008. The genre was built around cheap, minimalist and catchy beats and easily repeatable, simple hooks. I’m talking about songs like Laffy Taffy, Pop Lock & Drop It and, of course, Crank That (Soulja Boy). I am going to make a bold claim: Ringtone Rap is one of, if not the, worst trends in the history of popular music. Of all the songs I’ve heard from that genre, there is not a single one that I like unironically. It was a cheap and lazy genre that has deservingly been forgotten outside of the aforementioned Soulja Boy. 

I bring this up because Vine, a popular app in the mid 2010s that was basically a proto TikTok, seemed to bring Ringtone Rap back in a new form. 2015 had several of these songs make the Year-End list, all of them being mediocre-to-bad. Watch Me fits perfectly into this trend. A cheap, minimalist and mildly catchy beat. Repetitive, inane lyrics. A rando performer who had neither another hit nor any talent. Silento was literally just Soulja Boy again (except for the fact that Soulja had four other Top 40 hits between 2007 and 2010, but that’s beside the point, and also Soulja didn’t murder his cousin). Watch Me might be the hit song I respect the least not just in this year, but in the entire 2010s. However, it wasn’t even the worst song to come out of the short-lived Vine Rap trend of 2015, which brings us to…

#6: Hit The Quan by IHeartMemphis (Peak: #15, Year-End: #83)

Yup, this is the worst of the Vine Rap hits from 2015. No need for any sort of intro, let’s just go into why this song blows.

First, the beat is lazy AF. It’s just a stock beat with some annoying synth sound played on top of it. I feel confident in saying that no effort was put into creating the beat. The hook just repeats “Hit The Quan” and says that he wants to show you how to do it. I mean, I know that it was named for Rich Homie Quan, who was briefly big around 2014/15, but I’m not sure what dance “hitting the quan” is. If you think that the lyrics in the verses are any better, well, you’d be wrong. Let’s take a look.

“I paper chase then vanish

Hit the Quan note her make her boyfriend panic

I heart Memphis, but I also love dancing

I done took off on 'em, I don't plan on landing”

“Vanish” and “panic” don’t even rhyme. Also, “IHeartMemphis but I also love dancing” is an incredibly awkward bar, even more awkward than my writing. Oh, and who can forget the part where he starts barking like a dog?

“Go blah da da da dol, man somebody get some help”

Alright, that was pretty bad, but maybe the second verse was a bit better?

“Pull Pull Pull up on the block and do the dance like crazy

This chick is hella hot but I know this chick crazy

If I think she not then that makes me crazy

We are both thots so we are both are crazy”

“We are both thots so we both are crazy”. Ladies and gentlemen, we have found the greatest wordsmith of our age. Truly brilliant, his poetry shall be recited for generations to come. Rhyming “crazy” with itself four times in a row is truly brilliant poetry that no fourth grader could’ve ever come up with. 

Okay, maybe IHeartMemphis can redeem this song from behind the mic. Maybe he’s some sort of MC savant. Well, to say that he isn’t would be an understatement. I genuinely think that IHeartMemphis (which is a stupid stage name, by the way) is one of the least talented people to have ever had a hit song. To say that he sounds like an amateur on this song would be an understatement. It’s no wonder that he never had another hit, and I’m not complaining about that. Now, for someone who definitely should’ve known better.

#5: 7/11 by Beyoncé (Peak: #13, Year-End: #61)

It’s one thing when some twerp on Vine makes a dumb dance track, it’s another thing entirely when one of the biggest artists in the world does. Who in the world thought that Beyoncé, one of the most influential and respected musical artists of the 21st century, should make a dumb dance challenge. Why would she want to do this? I mean, I haven’t liked every song Bey has put out (just see my Worst of 2014 list), but I’d expect her to do better than this. 

As with other songs on the list, there’s not much to talk about when it comes to this song. A stock trap beat? Check. Lazy lyrics clearly meant to be made into vine clips? Check. A performer putting in the absolute minimum amount of effort? Check. The reason why this is higher than Watch Me and Hit The Quan is because, as I said earlier, I expect way more from Beyoncé than this lousy garbage. I know she’s capable of making good, even great music, but instead of making something like, say, Halo or Best Thing I Never Had, Bey instead decided to make this crap. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined…

#4: Only by Nicki Minaj ft. Chris Brown, Drake and Lil Wayne (Peak: #12, Year-End: #51)

Ah, this shouldn’t be a surprise. Only by Nicki Minaj ft. Chris Brown, Drake and Lil Wayne is one of the usual picks for any given Worst Hit Songs of 2015 list, and for good reason, because this is just as bad as everyone says it is.

For one, the beat is just not good. It’s basically a less chaotic version of the beat from Bodak Yellow, which in case you don’t know, is quite possibly my least favorite song of all time. There’s barely anything to say about the beat, but boy is there a lot to say about the lyrics, because hoo boy are they BAAAD. Let’s start with Nicki’s verse:

“Yo, I never f**ked Wayne, I never f**ked Drake

All my life, man, f**k's sake

If I did I menage with 'em

And let 'em eat my @$$ like a cupcake”

Menage, Minaj, I see what you did there.

“My man full, he just ate, I don't duck nobody but tape

Yeah, that was a set up for a punchline on duct tape”

Ba dum tss

“These h0es couldn't test me even if their name was pop quiz”

Who gave Nicki the idea to start making dad jokes?

“I don't fuck with them chickens unless they last name is cutlet”

Oh my gosh that is corny. Let’s move on to Drake’s verse now.

“I never f**ked Nicki 'cause she got a man

But when that's over then I'm the first in line”

What is this, the royal family?

“We had just come from that video

You know LA traffic, how the city slow”

I bet the traffic in LA is bad.

“She was sitting down on that big butt

B U T  I  W A S  S T I L L  S T A R I N G  A T  T H E  T I T T I E S  T H O U G H”

…

Ladies and gentlemen, the finest moment in Drake’s career. If I could choose one thing for Drake to be remembered for, it would be that line. That line is just… oh boy, it’s something else. Simultaneously one of the best and worst lyrics of the 2010s. I think that’s good enough for Drake, how about Lil Wayne’s verse?

“I never f**ked Nick' and that's f**ked up

If I did f**k she'd be f**ked up”

I got the double entendre.

“Whoever is hittin' ain't hittin' it right

'Cause she actin' like she need d*ck in her life”

AND I NEED D*CK NOW TONIGHT! AND I NEED D*CK MORE THAN EVER…

“That's another story, I'm no story teller

I piss greatness like gold is yellow”

Another one of the defining “so bad it’s good” lyrics of the 2010s, or any decade really. Two of them in the same song, how about that?

I think that’s enough. Only is a bad song with a dull beat and some of the most hilariously awful lyrics I’ve ever heard. As for Chris Brown’s chorus, well, it’s Chris Brown, do I really need to give him any attention? Yeah, Only alternates between being boringly bad and hilariously bad, which is definitely more than I can say for this next song:

#3: My Way by Fetty Wap (Peak: #7, Year-End: #44)

Fetty Wap was an… interesting artist. He had an absolutely terrible voice, and yet he could also be an incredibly engaging performer. While I didn’t like them quite as much as I thought I would, Trap Queen and 679 both have their bright spots to me, and I put him on my Best of 2016 list with his feature on Fifth Harmony’s All In My Head (Flex), although in retrospect I’m not sure if it deserved to be on my best list. However, there was one song Fetty was on during his brief time as a hitmaker that slipped through the cracks, and thus I was not sure how I’d receive it. When I hit play on My Way, my approximate reaction was “OHH, I remember this song! I hated it…”

Yeah, this was another song I remember despising in 2015, and while my opinion on Watch Me has softened a bit, my opinion now is the exact same as it was back then: this song blows ass.

I would talk about the beat, but really, there’s not much to say about it. It’s about as standard a trap beat as you can get. Nor is there a lot to say about the lyrics, which I could not care less about. No, my real anger is directed at Fetty Wet Ass P-word’s “rapping”, which could not be more irritating. Most of the song follows the same extremely annoying melody, which I hate from the first line. Fetty sounds like a dying cow. I cannot put into words how much Fetty Wap grates on my ears on this track. Sure, he sounds like a dying cow on his other songs too, but on those songs he’s at least got some energy and sounds like he’s having a good time. Here all of that energy is taken away, leaving just his awful, awful voice. Still, I’ll give Fetty this: at least this song wasn’t the worst rediscovery I made while looking through this year end list.

#2: Blessings by Big Sean ft. Drake and Kanye West (Peak: #28, Year-End: #88)

I went back and forth between this and My Way for my #2 for a good ten minutes. After all, both of these songs are utterly intolerable to me, but I decided to go with Blessings for one simple reason: it was a canary in the coal mine for the decline in quality in popular music over the next couple of years.

To begin, the production is outright miserable. It’s dark, it’s creepy, it’s devoid of life or energy, it’s everything wrong with the direction music went in the Mid-Late 2010s. If this song is about being grateful for what you have, then why does this song sound so depressing? Wouldn’t you want to make something with this theme uplifting and cheerful? As Olivia Rodrigo would say, I really don’t get it.

How about the performers? Well, I’ll start with Big Sean. He’s the lead artist here, so it makes sense that I’d talk about him first. Truth be told, I really don’t have a lot to say about Big Sean. He’s not a bad rapper on this song, but he doesn’t grab me in any way. Nor is my problem with Kanye West, who is definitely phoning it in, but I’m not that irritated by him.

No, my problem is with Drake’s hook, which could just be the single worst hook of the entire 2010s. I f**king HATE Drake’s “chorus”. I’ve hated it since I first heard it in 2015, and I hate it just as much now. Please excuse me as I rant about this dreadful, dreadful 25 seconds of “music”.

“I'm here for a good time, not a long time, you know I”

This song certainly isn’t a good time, and it drags on for a long time.

“I haven't had a good time in a long time, you know I”

You certainly don’t sound like you’ve had a good time in a long time. I’d think you’d be more excited about having a good time, but who am I kidding, you’re Drake, you always sound like you’ve had a couple of xannies before you went into the studio.

“I'm waaayyy up, I feel blessed”

I F**KING HAAATE the way Drake drags out the word “way”. It makes me feel physically angry every time I hear it.

“Waaayyy up, I feel blessed”

Are you sure, because you don’t sound very blessed. After this it just repeats the last two lines again, so no point in being redundant here. 

You know, I’ve held off on saying this for a while, but I feel like I have the sample size to officially state this: Drake sucks. I’ve listened to every single Billboard year end list from 2010 to 2020, and in those eleven years. Drake has made my worst list in (breathes in) 2011, 2012, 2013, this list here, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020. Drake made the worst list for nine of the past eleven years. How many of my best lists had Drake appeared on? Not one. Of his dozens of hits in the past twelve years, not a single one rises above a 7/10 (that 7/10 being Hold On We’re Going Home). He’s not inconsistent, nor did he start off good and then stagnate, he’s just a bad artist. Blessings is a terrible song that has one of the worst choruses of all time, but it was not enough to be #1, so what could’ve beaten it and claimed the crown of crap for 2015?

I have a… complicated relationship with the artist who took the #1 spot on this list. This artist is among the most inconsistent artists in pop music history, as her singles span the entire spectrum between absolute pop perfection on one end and hot garbage on the other, and the following song definitely falls under the latter category. This song represents not only everything I hate about the worst music of 2015, but also all the worst qualities of this performer. While this isn’t her worst song, it’s pretty dang close, and it is definitely among the worst songs to have come out in the 2010s. So, in case you haven’t figured out who this mystery artist is based on my past history with her material, you’re about to find out right now. Rihanna, congratulations on topping one of my worst lists once again.

#1: B*tch Better Have My Money by Rihanna (Peak: #15, Year-End: #48)

Welcome back, RiRi. You’re a familiar face at the top of my worst lists, and at the top of my best lists for that matter. Matter of fact, you did it in the same year, as Birthday Cake topped my Worst of 2012 list and Diamonds topped my Best of 2012 list. However, Rihanna only accomplished the former this time around, as no Rihanna song will be appearing on my best list, much less at #1. Meanwhile, B*tch Better Have My Money wound up as my least favorite hit of the year. While it’s not Rihanna’s worst song (that’d be the aforementioned Birthday Cake), it’s pretty dang close, and here’s why.

While this beat isn’t quite as grating and intolerable as the dental drill from Birthday Cake, it still gets under my skin in record time. It’s clearly trying to sound dark and threatening, but it just sounds irritating. This was produced in part by Kanye West and Travis Scott, both of whom have made much better beats than this. Then again, that might just be because of Rihanna herself.

Rihanna’s main talent as a performer is in her adaptability. She can put on almost any image or style and have it sound completely natural. Upbeat dance music? Check. Somber piano ballads? Check. Pop Rock? Check. Electro-R&B? Check. However, one image she cannot put on is trying to sound hardcore, serious or badass. From S&M to Pour It Up to Needed Me, every time I’ve heard her try to sound tough, it has always turned out terribly, and B*tch Better Have My Money might just be the worst of them all. This song is all about Rihanna flexing about how she’s meant to be taken seriously and how she’s the s**t (she might be farting and unable to potty as well), but I just don’t buy it. She doesn’t sound intimidating, she sounds obnoxious and bratty. She’s not even singing or rapping, she’s shouting. She’s straining her voice, which cracks several times. She sounds absolutely terrible here. Really, I don’t want to talk about this “song”, I just want this to be over with. B*tch Better Have My Money is an obnoxious, grating pile of garbage that is Rihanna at her very worst, and it’s the Worst Hit Song of 2015.

I know that I’ve procrastinated and delayed this list way longer than I should’ve. I said this would be out in late September or early October, but it actually came out in early December. Truth be told, I’m burnt out of music reviewing. The passion that I had for doing this in late 2019-mid 2020 just isn’t there anymore. As a result, my Best of 2015 list will be the last list I will be making in the foreseeable future. I will not be making 2021 lists this list season, and I will be taking most, if not all of 2022 off. I should have the Best of 2015 list out by the end of the year, but at this point I can’t promise anything. Thanks for reading this list, and have a fantastic day.