Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2001
Hello, and welcome back for another Year-End worst list, this time going back to my first full year of life, 2001. I’d planned to cover this year anyway, but Pulse Music Board is currently hosting a rankdown (ranking/countdown) of the Billboard Year-End list for 2001, so it got priority over 2017, which will be the next year I look at.
I’ve heard many people say that the Early 2000s (2000-2002/3) was the last time popular music was good, but I’ve also heard people call 2001 a bad year for music, and after listening to all 100 songs on the 2001 Year-End list (although eight of those songs were repeats from 2000, I only listened to them because of the aforementioned rankdown), I understand both perspectives on this year. On the one hand, the time between 1999 (when Billboard relaxed their rules on what could and could not chart) and 2010 (the last year Rock was relevant) was the golden age of variety on the Hot 100, a time when all of the major genres (Pop, Hip-Hop, Rock, R&B and Country) could see success, and 2001 was no exception. On the other hand, the majority of songs on the 2001 Year-End list gave me absolutely nothing to talk about, to where I had to listen to the list a second time in order to remember how a good half of the songs went.
The 92 songs that debuted on the Billboard Year-End Hot 100 for 2001 got a cumulative score of 278/460, or 60.4% of a theoretically perfect score, higher than 2014 and 2019, but lower than that of 2010. It’s time to get onto the list itself, but as per usual, here are some Dishonorable Mentions.
Dishonorable Mention: Follow Me by Uncle Kracker (Peak: #5, Year-End: #19)
Man, this Uncle Kracker song sure does exist, doesn’t it?
Jokes aside, this is just a boring song that is sunk by Uncle Kracker sounding like he has a cold and the poorly written lyrics. Nothing else to talk about here, let’s move on.
Dishonorable Mention: When It’s Over by Sugar Ray (Peak: #13, Year-End: #46).
Another song that doesn’t give me much of a reaction, but makes the DM’s because the guys from Sugar Ray sound like frat-bro douchebags who just wanna get laid.
Dishonorable Mention: I’m Real by Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule (Peak: #1, Year-End: #5)
This is mainly on here because of the farting synth that plays every five seconds, that’s pretty much it.
Dishonorable Mention: Loverboy by Mariah Carey ft. Cameo (Peak: #2, Year-End: #80)
Listen, I know that Mariah Carey is a great singer, but she can do much better than this cheap, dated production and endlessly repetitive lyrics.
Dishonorable Mention: Family Affair by Mary J. Blige (Peak: #1, Year-End: #31)
I’m sorry, Sean from Diamond Axe Studios, but I’m not a fan of this song, probably because “dancerie” isn’t a real word.
Dishonorable Mention: Survivor by Destiny’s Child (Peak: #2, Year-End: #23)
The last cut from the list, Survivor is saved solely by its admittedly well written lyrics and decent vocals. Other than that, however, it was one of the songs I least want to hear ever again. The production is cluttered and grating, and the chants of “WUT” in the chorus is quite annoying. I can hear the good song in here desperately trying to get out, but the bad elements drown out any semblance of quality it may have had.
Now, let’s get onto the list itself, starting with one of the worst cases of graverobbing I’ve ever heard.
#10: Music by Erick Sermon ft. Marvin Gaye (Peak: #22, Year-End: #83)
Graverobbing in popular music is quite common nowadays (see all the posthumous releases from XXXTentacion), but I think this may’ve been the song that started it all. Using a vocal sample from a 1982 album cut, the sample somehow makes Marvin Freakin’ Gaye sound bad, repeating the line “just like music” every ten seconds, and as another reviewer once said, I am not a fan of repetition in music. Erick Sermon is a total non-presence, and while I can sorta get into the funky groove, there’s this farting synth that plays in the background throughout the whole song. While I wouldn’t necessarily call this bad, it’s not something I’d ever want to return to, and the graverobbing is what gets this on the list.
#9: Someone To Call My Lover by Janet Jackson (Peak: #3, Year-End: #38)
If there was any song in 2001 that wasted its potential, it was this one. Built around a sample of Ventura Highway, the guitar line is actually pretty nice, but then it throws all that away. First, you have the dang beeping sound, which is annoying to say the least. The second problem is that the song is sugary sweet and chipper to the point of annoyance, especially when Janet goes “ay ay ay ay ay ay…”. While I don't have a problem with Bubblegum Pop on principle, this is just too much for me.
#8: Get Over Yourself by Eden’s Crush (Peak: #8, Year-End: #92)
By 2001, the Teen Pop boom of the Late 90s was clearly on the decline (all of this stuff would be gone within two years), and one of the clearest examples of said decline would be this annoying little ditty. The production, while not exactly bad, definitely hasn’t aged well, and the girls from Eden’s Crush (a short lived Early 2000s girl group formed from an equally short lived TV show) lack any personality, aside from some annoying tendencies. Lyrically, it’s just this girl telling her ex boyfriend to “get over himself”, but it’s execution makes me not want to side with the girls in this song. While this is by no means the worst Teen Pop song of 2001 (we’ll get to that later), it’s not something I ever want to hear again.
#7a: Love Don’t Cost A Thing by Jennifer Lopez (Peak: #3, Year-End: #26)
#7b: Play by Jennifer Lopez (Peak: #18, Year-End: #72)
Yep, the other two J-Lo songs on the 2001 Year-End list are jointly taking the #7 spot on this list. I’m gonna talk about both of them together, because not only are they by the same artist, but they also have the same problem.
I don’t really mind most of either song. The lyrics aren’t at all bad or offensive (although they are a complete non-presence), and while J-Lo is a dollar store Janet Jackson (who you may recall took the #9 spot on this list), she’s not a bad singer. No, the problem with both of these songs is the production. Love Don’t Cost A Thing has these clunky, banging drums and drum machines that play every few seconds, while Play has a terribly dated beeping synth riff, both of which wear out their welcome in record time. I could see either of these songs being passable (not good, but passable), but alas, that was not to be.
#6: Bootylicious by Destiny’s Child (Peak: #1, Year-End: #42)
Do I really need to explain why this song sucks? It’s literally called Bootylicious. I’ll admit that the sample from Edge Of Seventeen isn’t all that bad, but come on, it’s called BOOTYLICIOUS. The lyrics are completely stupid, and while the ladies from Destiny’s Child do redeem this a little bit, it’s still a ridiculous song that I’m better off not hearing again.
#5: I’m A Thug by Trick Daddy (Peak: #17, Year-End: #89)
I’ll be honest, most of this song isn’t really all that bad. Sure, it has kids singing about being thugs, but for some reason it doesn’t really bother me. Trick Daddy’s a solid rapper, and the beat is just fine. That leaves one area that could be the reason this is in the bottom five: the lyrics, or really just one line in particular. Most of the lyrics are just typical Gangsta Rap stuff, including a bit about all the people and institutions he hates, police, judges etc. That’s all fairly normal in Hip-Hop, the relations between law enforcement and the Black community can be… strained to say the least. However, Trick Daddy doesn’t stop there…
“F**k the family of the victim”.
Seriously? “F**k the family of the victim”? I was legitimately shocked when I heard that line, and knew immediately that it was going to be on the list. Trick Daddy, count yourself lucky that I didn’t put this at #1 by default, because I can’t call that lyric anything other than inexcusable, even for a Gangsta Rap song.
#4: Southern Hospitality by Ludacris (Peak: #23, Year-End: #77)
Now we’re getting into the songs that I can’t find anything redeemable about. Southern Hospitality is one of the most boringly terrible songs I’ve ever heard in my life. The production is droning and a total non-entity, aside from these annoying buzzing synths. Sure, there’s this beat switch-up halfway through, but that only lasts a good 30 seconds out of this nearly five minute song. Ludacris, despite being a by and large energetic rapper sounds completely bored and like he doesn’t care. The lyrics are a totally empty mix of flexing and lusting upon ladies, not something up my alleyway to say the least. Luda, I know I’ve put you on my worst lists twice, and chances are this isn’t gonna be the last time, but I know you’ve got it in you to make great music, and I hope to hear some of that going forward in my journey through pop music.
#3: Oochie Wally by Nas and Bravehearts (Peak: #26, Year-End: #98)
If you know about this song, then you know why it’s on the list, but if you don’t, let me just say that this might just be the single filthiest song that I’ve ever heard in my entire life. I mean, the song literally opens up with a woman orgasming, and said orgasm noises are heard throughout much of the song. Instrumentally, the main element is a repeating exotic flute riff, but that’s not why this makes the list. There are so many filthy and gross lyrics in here that I don’t have time to go through them all, so I’ll just stick to the chorus.
“He really really really f**ked my coochie”
Yeah, I think we know that already.
“He really really really turned me out”
I don’t know what that means, nor do I want to.
“He really really really got to gut me”
That can’t be a good thing, can it.
“He really really made me scream and shout”
Really, I don’t feel like going through any other lyrics in this song, so if you haven’t heard this, I recommend you either avoid it and remain blissfully ignorant, or listen to this and prepare to be irrevocably scarred by the grossness of this rightly forgotten turd. I honestly don’t know why it didn’t end up at #1, but this is how the list turned out, so let’s get on to the penultimate pick for this list.
#2: He Loves U Not by Dream (Peak: #2, Year-End: #28)
You know how I mentioned earlier in the post that there was gonna be another Teen Pop song on the list? Well, this is it. The bottom of the Late 90s/Early 2000s Teeny Bopper barrel. The instrumentation is a terribly dated mix of synths and drum machines, but that’s not the main reason this is on the list, much less at #2. No, that would be the toxic, bitchy attitude of the lyrics and performers. Lyrically, it’s not a bad concept, telling off a girl who’s trying to take her boy, but not only is there very little evidence that she’s actually trying to steal her boy, but if that were the case, I would actually want her to succeed, because the girls from Dream sound like the most petty of middle school drama queens, and the horrendously annoying backing vocals sure don’t help. Maybe I could give the lyrics and conceit of the song a pass if Dream (who were around 15 at the time) actually wrote it, but no, it was written by grown-ass adults who should’ve known better. Dream, more like a Nightmare.
I’m honestly surprised by my own #1 pick. I mean, I knew it’d be on the list when I first heard it, but it just kept getting worse and worse to where it climbed all the way to the top of this list. This is a song that exemplifies everything wrong with it’s genre, and that I find nothing redeemable in. While this list may be subject to further revision if I ever redo this list in video form, this is how it turned out right now. So, without further ado, here is the Worst Hit Song of 2001.
#1: It’s Been Awhile by Staind (Peak: #5, Year-End: #14)
Post-Grunge is a genre that gets a very, very bad rep among music reviewers, and I didn’t totally get it. After all, I like bands like Daughtry and Switchfoot, and I don’t even mind Nickelback all that much. However, hearing this sludgefest has changed my mind completely, because this is an absolutely dreadful song. The lyrics are supposed to be about getting past your troubles, but frontman Aaron Lewis’ lifeless, monotone vocals make it sound like the most “woe is me” thing ever, and the drab, sludgy instrumentation sure doesn’t help. As previously mentioned, I don’t hate Post-Grunge on principle, but I certainly get the hate now. This song is utterly worthless, and it is The Worst Hit Song of 2001. The best list will be up within the next week or so, have a happy leap day everyone!
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